Dear Wade #2: Communicating with Republicans

Dear Wade:

I love you & love listening to Liz v. Wade on Discover Janesville with Yuri Rashkin. I am learning a lot about power dynamics in verbal communications.

Or... is it psychological warfare? Army v. Civilian? 

You are very, very good. But, sincerity and compassion win out every time. So, Liz has my vote!

So I was struck very forcefully when I listened to #7 of Liz v. Wade and  again #8  by "how" the 3 communicate--Liz, Wade, and the show host, Yuri Rashkin.

The "conversations" grabbed be by the throat, so to speak.

"What is going on here?" I asked myself. I found the interpersonal dynamics anything but straight forward.

Who talks the most? Who talks the loudest? Who has the power & dominates? How is control exercised? Why? Who assumes leadership? Is the host really moderating the show? Are the guests controlling the host? Are both parties talking as equals? Are all parties equally respectful & congenial? What is the mood?

Was this a conversation or psychological warfare? 

I am going to use Liz v. Wade #8 as an example of... "WHY NOT TO TALK TO REPUBLICANS." 

As if...!

Yuri (I love Yuri!) begins this segment by reading my letter, posted in the notes of #7, on the air.

Then, Yuri narrows the conversation by using the term "abortion."  Naughty!

Reproductive health care is about far more than sex, abortion, rape and contraception.

It is HEALTH CARE provided by real DOCTORS in HEALTH CARE FACILITIES frequently involving PRESCRIPTIONS and HEALTH CARE PROCEDURES--and needed at every age and stage of life.

But, reproductive health care keeps being narrowed to the subject of rape & abortion. And, why aren’t we discussing vasectomies and Viagra more?

Moving on... Wade responded to my letter by saying that I misrepresented his positions but does not say how. How, how. how?

Wade did not apologize for calling Liz an "experienced woman,"   interrupting her repeatedly, over-talking her, chastising her and talking down to her. Why, why, why?

Wade did not respond to my accusation that he is trying to legislate HIS religion or that he doesn’t have any right to any opinion at all about women's reproductive care. Why, oh, why?

How did he respond on the air?  He replied that he doesn't "pander to the crowd" and is there to share the time equally with Liz and address the issues. 

Well, Wade, are you under the impression that being polite is pandering? 

Then, you continued to interrupt her, talk down to her, over-talk her, and patronize her in #8! What?  

Etiquette lessons? You did know that I teach etiquette and communications skills didn't you? Now, you do!

Wade, address the merits of every issue and the merits only. With facts. IF you want the respect of listeners.

So, I am going to just analyze the first few minutes of the conversation in #8. 

Liz says that there is a "whole new breed" of Republicans who bear no resemblance to Eisenhower or Reagan. She mentions Murdoch (of the "conception from rape is God's will" fame) and Sharon Angle.

Yes, factually speaking, there is a whole new breed of Republican: the Tea Party. 

Lots of people consider them extremist -- including many Republicans. I read quit a bit about the difficulty this new breed of Republican are giving the mainstream Republican Party and their upstanding long-respected more conventional Republican candidates.

Wade, you could have addressed those issues.

Wade, you could have addressed the insensitive comments and the simply scientifically inaccurate, not to mention bizarre comments, about rape and rape victims from Republicans lately about women's issues.

I feel comfortable calling these comments by Republicans crazy and strange.

Dairy cattle (and race horses, show dogs, etc.) all have reproductive health care—and better health care in general than I do. Liz makes a very valid point! 

Respond to her points, Wade!

But, Wade, you attack Liz and her comments. 

You used a combination of 3 excellent tactics. 

1. Respond with a list – do not just address a specific issue.

2. Always make sure to be nit-picky – do not address an issue of major concern—such as why Republicans are making such insensitive comments about rape.

3. Go on the attack and use mostly nonsense--so that the opponent will be so gob-smacked they cannot think of a response.

IF you responded on the facts -- such as the remarks on rape made by Sharon Angle... Well, what would the defense be?

He accuses Liz of personal attacks. She made none. Nonsense attack.

You accuse Liz of generalities. She gave great examples. Nonsense attack.

You accuses her of name calling. She didn't. Why not respond to her and address the Tea Party.

You say that there are also extremist in the Democratic Party. No doubt, but that is NOT a rational argument in support of extremist Republicans.  Nonsense attack.

THEN, you accused Liz of being hypocritical!?!  Oh, please. Personal attacks are not acceptable responses.

You maintain that Liz is a hypocrite if she uses examples of 2 or 3 extremist Republicans making disgusting comments about rape UNLESS SHE GIVES EXAMPLES OF EXTREMIST DEMOCRATS.  Nonsense attack.

As examples of extremist Democrats, you gave a list of Democrats that range from disgraced sex nuts, to money scammers, to mere liberals, to gay men... 

First, not a logical response to the rash of rape comments coming out from Republicans and second, the Republicans also have disgraced sex nuts, money scammers, ultra-conservatives, and gay men & women.

By the way, the very typical way of controlling women in every stinkin' conversation is to call them out when they raise voice. 

Wade, you have a very effectively controlled, very soft voice.

But, Liz cannot get equally heard and she did not have come-backs for Wade's nonsense response list. SO, SHE BROKE THE RULES AND RAISED HER VOICE. 

Oh, sorry, I raised my voice.

At, that point, Yuri, began chastising her. "Liz, Liz, Liz," he says even though Wade is the one refusing to allow Liz to talk.

That is why I don't engage in political conversation.

BUT, here is the really odd thing. Every one of my Republican friends, whom I no longer discuss politics with, use all of these exact tactics!!!  I know that there are workshops where Republicans learn various tactics for... disrupting, attacking, sabotaging, etc Democratic campaigns. Do they teach this tactics somewhere?

Love is all there is. I won't discuss rape or women's issues, or much of anything without love in the heart!

Oh, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings! I imagine after a career in the military, serving in 2 combat zones, and living in the Middle East, it would take a lot more than a love letter to hurt your feelings.

Love, 

Vivian