Dear "Pro-Life" Men

My very dear pro-life men: 

I wish you knew how very little I care about your religious beliefs and your inexperienced uneducated opinions.

We should all be utterly gob-smacked that people who know nothing about women and reproductive care are making life altering and life threatening decisions about it!

Here are a few of the reasons that I think these decisions should be between a woman/girl and her health care providers.

* This is a far more complicated issue than most. We are not talking about a 45 vs a 50 mph speed limit. We are talking about people's lives. Their entire lives. Decisions that could affect every day of their lives forever and ever until the day that they die.

* This should never have become a polarized political issue and, it wasn't in the past.

* Does abortion sound like a simple issue to you? Do you ask, "Why not just give the baby up for adoption?" You are sorely lacking in knowledge, empathy, understanding if that is your question. 

* This is a complex issue requiring knowledge/understanding of:

- Obstetrics

- Gynecology 

- Embryology

- Neonatology

- Genetics

- General medicine and 

- The effects of illness and

- The effects of medical treatments on maternal welfare and neonatal health (Effects of treating cancer, diabetes, hypertension, etc)

- Developmental disabilities: What effects will a pregnancy have on a girl with an IQ of 70 or 60? 

- Normal development: What effects will pregnancy have on an 11 y/o, for example?

- Mental illness: Will a mentally ill child, teen, adult be able to care for herself well enough to survive pregnancy without causing permanent harm to the fetus?

In other words, you have no personal experience of having an unwanted unplanned pregnancy or one that is dangerous to your own well being. 

You have no experience of finding out you are pregnant with a severely disabled unlikely to live fetus. You. Not a partner or relative. YOU.

You have no experience being pregnant and having cancer or diabetes or hypertension... and having to take medications that are dangerous to the fetus. 

What about this scenario? You have  never found out that you are impregnated by your father or grandfather, have you?

And, you have never had to wonder if your parents will quit speaking to you and throw you out. Or, if you will be disfellowshipped. Or, if your boyfriend will dump you and disappear. Will anyone marry you with you are 30 with a 15 year old? 

You have never been a pregnant terrified 17 y/o, have you?

Have you wondered how you will survive pregnant or with an infant? How are you going to get a job with no qualifications?  How are you going to pay your rent and what if you are physically unable to work? Where you will live?  Or... how you will even afford prenatal vitamins? 

So...

* After you have informed yourself on the various health and mental health issues -- a few books ought to do it, and 

* After you have adopted a couple of children -- two ought to do it, and 

* After you have researched all of the lies and propaganda from the "pro-life" movement and are able to distinguish the truth from disinformation, and

* After you have read the history of abortion, and

* After you have adopted true "pro-life" positions on social welfare, the death penalty, war, etc. then, I will respect your beliefs that life begins when an egg is fertilized but will not accept that you have the right to make these decisions for me.

But, I do love you from the bottom of my heart.

VLL 

DEAR REPUBLICANS: WHAT NEXT? BRAIN SURGERY?

Dear Republicans:

You want to make major reproductive decisions for women? What next? Treating cancer? Brain surgery as a hobby?

Dudes, I love you but you are not my doctor. Nor my husband. Nor the father of my child. Nor my father nor brother nor best friend. You don't pay my bills. You are not my doctor. 

#YouAreNotMyDoctor

And... Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings or embarrass you, but you don't know shit about women. Or, reproduction. Or, children. Or, science. Or, medicine. Or, psychology. Or... anything but bringing in the bucks.
Dear Republicans:

You men are making major life decisions for women/girls on matters that you know nothing about and have no experience of. We are so accustomed to this that we don't even notice it!

+ Men have never menstruated. Wha?

+ Men have never been pregnant. Really?

+ Men have never given birth. Of course not. This explains a lot. 

+ Many men have never had responsibility for a child. As  women everywhere know.

+ For centuries, unmarried fatherhood did not disgrace nor even inconvenience men while it ruined a girl's life. Not even inconvenienced. 

+ Many/most men have never even read a book about reproduction, pregnancy, or child-birth! Can men read?

+ [Many men have never read a book about female sexual response but that is another story for another day. This is obvious to everyone except men.]

+ I would guess that many men have never visited the doctor with a woman. They are certainly not in the waiting rooms.

+ I would bet that many/most men have never been to the OB/GYN with their partners. Except for the delivery room of course. Are they there willingly?

+ Are there any men who could identify all the "parts" of the reproductive organs on a graphic? Can they identify the parts on a living woman? 

+ Are there any men who could name 5 - 10 methods of contraception? I've got money riding on this.

+ Has any man every asked his partner if she uses BC? Has any man ever asked to see the pill pack? 

+ How many men always use BC themselves? I heard that there was one in Canton, Ohio but I didn't verify.

+ Could any men name 5 medical conditions that are treated with BC pills? I only got 5. Can you name 5? Nah.

We are so used to this that we don't even question it. This is social/emotional wallpaper. The status quo.

Men and women lead very separate lives and don't even know it.

Women and men who support our rights: "Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will." (Frederick Douglass)

May I make some suggestions? 


1.  Donate to causes that support women's rights:

- Planned Parenthood: 

 https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-involved/other-ways-give


- Naral Pro-Choice America
https://actnow.prochoiceamerica.org/donate/supportnaral/#.XOCA6MhKjIU


- NOW
http://www.nowmadison.org/



2. Educate! Educate! Educate! Everyone around you including the men in your life.


3. Take action in any and every way possible.

- Write the usual letters, yada yada yada

- Protest, march, rally, 

4. Enlist your fathers, husbands, BF's, sons, brothers, cousins... in our fight. 


Women, let's love ourselves and demand our rights.

Vivian LL

DEAREST GENTLEMEN

Dearest Men:

I know. I know. You know everything! You have been very lucky in that. Lucky to be born the privileged gender and that comes with the capacity to know absolutely everything about everything and everyone and to use your microphone.

I worship your superior height, muscle mass, intelligence, knowledge, expertise... Well, I just adore men!

Isn't it a miracle that you know more about family planning, pregnancy, childbirth, obstetrics, gynecology, mental health, pediatrics... well... really everything in the world than all the experts and all those with direct personal real experience!

What a miracle!
Seriously, now, I am enraged.

The abortion discussion is dominated by:

> Men

> People who have no knowledge or experience whatsoever of reproductive health, obstetrics, gynecology, etc.

> Men who have no personal experience whatsoever of these issues

> Men who are sadly misinformed or maliciously sharing disinformation

From the beginning of time:

> Adam ate the apple; Eve got the blame.

> Women have been totally responsible for saying, "No."

> Women are totally responsible for keeping themselves from getting pregnant

> Many women are totally responsible for their children.

> It is a woman's life that is ruined if she gets pregnant when

+ She is too young

+ She is too poor

+ She is uneducated

+ She has too many other children

+ She has too many other responsibilities

+ She would rather be dead than pregnant

> It is women who pay the price for unplanned pregnancy even though we do not get pregnant alone

+ She has been the subject of such pity, censure, criticism, etc that many women would rather be dead

+ She is the one who has to endure a hated pregnancy

+ She, in the past, is the one who had to go away, have a baby at a "home," and give it away in adoption

+ She is the 11 y/o or 14 y/o who doesn't even understand what is happening to her body

+ She is the mentally ill woman or girl who cannot comprehend being pregnant or raise a baby

+ She is the developmentally disabled girl or woman who doesn't have a clue that her uncle, or father or brother impregnated her.

+ She is the victim of sexual assault who will wonder all of her life about the genetics of the child that she has carried

> It is a woman's body that experiences pregnancy and childbirth whether or not

+ She has adequate nutrition

+ She has adequate shelter

+ She is in good health

+ She has any medical care

+ She is living in a war zone, a drought, a flood, a famine...

It is her rights that are prioritized last by anti-abortion laws. It is women who are harmed.

Women have carried all the responsibility and have had no power whatsoever.

With all love, I say: Gentlemen, sit down and shut up.

Love, VLL

DEAR MEN WHO ARE EXPERTS IN EVERYTHING

Dearest Men:

I know. I know. You know everything! You have been very lucky in that. Lucky to be born the privileged gender and that comes with the capacity to know absolutely everything about everything and everyone and to use your microphone.

I worship your superior height, muscle mass, intelligence, knowledge, expertise... Well, I just adore men!

Isn't it a miracle that you know more about family planning, pregnancy, childbirth, obstetrics, gynecology, mental health, pediatrics... well... really everything in the world than all the experts and all those with direct personal real experience!

What a miracle! Seriously, now, I am enraged.

The abortion discussion is dominated by:

> Men

> People who have no knowledge or experience whatsoever of reproductive health, obstetrics, gynecology, etc.

> Men who have no personal experience whatsoever of these issues

> Men who are sadly misinformed or maliciously sharing disinformation

From the beginning of time:

> Adam ate the apple; Eve got the blame.

> Women have been totally responsible for saying, "No."

> Women are totally responsible for keeping themselves from getting pregnant

> Many women are totally responsible for their children.

> It is a woman's life that is ruined if she gets pregnant when

+ She is too young

+ She is too poor

+ She is uneducated

+ She has too many other children

+ She has too many other responsibilities

+ She would rather be dead than pregnant

> It is women who pay the price for unplanned pregnancy even though we do not get pregnant alone

+ She has been the subject of such pity, censure, criticism, etc that many women would rather be dead

+ She is the one who has to endure a hated pregnancy

+ She, in the past, is the one who had to go away, have a baby at a "home," and give it away in adoption

+ She is the 11 y/o or 14 y/o who doesn't even understand what is happening to her body

+ She is the mentally ill woman or girl who cannot comprehend being pregnant or raise a baby

+ She is the developmentally disabled girl or woman who doesn't have a clue that her uncle, or father or brother impregnated her.

+ She is the victim of sexual assault who will wonder all of her life about the genetics of the child that she has carried

> It is a woman's body that experiences pregnancy and childbirth whether or not

+ She has adequate nutrition

+ She has adequate shelter

+ She is in good health

+ She has any medical care

+ She is living in a war zone, a drought, a flood

It is her rights that are prioritized last by anti-abortion laws.

Women have carried all the responsibility and have had no power whatsoever.

With all love, I say: Gentlemen, sit down and shut up.

Love, VLL