Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Dear Birthers & Other Ignoramos Conspirator TheoristsY

Dear Birthers & Other Ignoramous Conspirator Theorists:

You make me so sad I cry every time I read something written my you. I saw one of you in a crowd and picked you out by your clothing and demeanor. Listening to you talk makes me cry all night and worry about things like: "Where is civilization going?" "Where did our schools go wrong?" "Should people have to have a license to have children?" And, "Why isn't logic taught in school anymore?"

I love you and wish that I could help unravel that tangled mass -- or, is it mess -- of neurons in your poor head,

I just read one of your articles.

Someone just posted an radio blog on the DPRC page asserting that too many coincidences constitute proof (as in circumstantial evidence in a trial) that Obama is Communist & Muslim.

It was along the lines of: President Obama worked with Mr. X whose wife was friends with Mr. Y whose sister was married to a prominent Muslim whose best friend was  a Communist...

So, it was the most pathetic thing  I have ever heard -- or the best example of nonsense!

In 1979, MK & I went to a dinner party in NC where everyone present knew my major professor from the UW-Seattle!!!

 COINCIDENCE OR CONSPIRACY BY 8 PEOPLE TO DOMINATE THE FIELD OF MENTAL HEALTH????  I went to graduate school at UW-Seattle. One couple had a daughter who also went to graduate school there and had the same major professor. Another couple had met him at a conference.

What an utterly wild coincidence -- and, it was. But... not quite so completely crazy.

BECAUSE we all worked in the field of mental health. We all went to major universities. We all had mental health or social work degrees. There is a lot of exchange between the major universities. Parents visit their children when they are at university.

 BUT... There's more... The new chair of the psych department at UNC was from UW-Madison, I heard him speak at a conference in Chapel Hill before we moved to Madison  I went to work at UW-Madison and MK knew many people who knew the former chair of the UW-Madison Department of Psychiatry who was now in Chapel Hill and...


YES, it is a small world!  YES, people in the same fields tend to know many of the same people. Especially in the world of politics where everything depends on who you know and how many people you know.

YES, guess what happened after the "wild and wooly radical 60's?" The radicals went back to class, graduated, and got jobs in their father's companies, became college professors, bought houses in the suburbs. Yes, Barack Obama's radical 60's friends (who were radicals before he was born) are now members of the establishment.

YES, people hire people they know so more people tend to know more people that know each other.

And, , YES ere are a few Communists and Socialist around. Those are political parties -- not dirty words that we call our enemies on the playground. Words that even have definitions and have nothing to do President Obama.

So, LOUDLY NOW: if you believe President Obama was born anywhere other than Hawaii, you are nuttier than a fruit cake. If you believe that President Obama is a Muslim you are bat-poop crazy. If you believe that he did not deserve to go the excellent universities that he went to on his own merit, you are simply a racist pig--the man is brilliant whether you like him or not.

Hmmm, I am the most boring person on earth, but if I dig far enough! Ha!
I know a Muslim and an Anarchist, both are from Madison, they both drink coffee, they both drive cars and breathe oxygen, they are both women, they are both brunettes,,,

Ha! I have just proved that I am an Anarchist Muslim who was born in... somewhere else... of Anarchist Muslim parents who plan on going... somewhere and planting the seeds of...DEMOCRACY!

Long live logic! Oh, I hope I haven't hurt your feelings! But, if I didn't tell you these things, who would? It is only because I love you & I don't want people to talk behind your back.

As my sainted Mother used to say to me, "OH, for God's sake! Don't be a moron!"

Much love and many blessings. May your neurons fire sequentially for many years to come!

Your friend,


Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dear Republican Leaders: Why oh Why?

Dear Republican Leaders:

Why do I keep thinking about you? I must ask my therapist. I also think about train crashes, fires, car wrecks, cancer, and rare diseases. Hmmm...?

You are so, so, so misbegotten and so, so, so needy. I don't even know where to begin. Is it ever too late? You need more love than... my little white lap dog. You are a lot like her in fact. You just don't know when to SHUT UP!

Darling Republican Leaders: Quit talking about women and anything to do with our lady parts. Rape. Abortion. Women's Reproductive Health Care.

I am going to talk to you like your mothers, wives, sisters, and lovers ought to: You are scientifically & medically illiterate; morally bankrupt; AND, slavering political syncophants who would sell your mothers into sexual slavery to win an election.

Since you have no judgement, take it from me:


But... But... But...

I am waiting breathlessly for you to take a strong public stand against rape. Take a strong public stand against incest. Take a strong public stand against domestic abuse. Take a strong public stand against all violence -- especially against women and children.

Take a stand against those men and boys who perform sex acts on girls & women who are unable to give informed consent because they are too young, mentally ill or emotionally disturbed, intellectually handicapped, physically handicapped, or debilitated by drugs or alcohol.

Take a stand against men who use their positions of power and authority to take advantage against the vulnerable: ministers, doctors, politicians... You?

I am waiting. We are waiting. Be heroes.

You can stand up for (I simply cannot believe it!) a fertilized egg that has not been implanted. That are not yet sentient beings. Women are sentient beings. Stand up for us. Yes, you can!

I believe in you! YOU CAN DO IT! Why oh why don't you?

Your friend,


Dear Women

Dear Women:

Without any satire, irony, or facetiousness, I can say I love you truly with every cell in my body. I loathe being serious, but I am simply terrified for us. Reality is something I try to avoid at all cost, but sometimes it just sneaks up on me.

Tonight, I can hardly breathe with the simple awareness of how deeply women are hated. Yes, in the USA. How little cared for we are. How little devotion we receive. How little simple justice. Common respect. Plain & simple empathy.

We have no voice.

We also all too often have very little concern for each other -- because we do reflect our culture. So many women brag about not being "feminist." It makes me ill. It hurts my eyes to look at a woman when she says this. If you brag about this, know that I think you are very, very ignorant.

There are about 30,000 pregnancies resulting from rape/year. That means that about 30,000 men rape women/year and impregnate them. Those are just the rapes resulting in pregnancy. How absolutely evil is that.

And, yet, what are (Republican) men talking about on TV? The sanctity of the life of ... not the victim... not the impregnated woman... but, the fetus. A fetus which many of them believe, including our own Paul Ryan, ought to have full constitutional rights AT CONCEPTION. Yes, a fetus that is microscopic in size, has not implanted in the uterus, and looks like frog eggs...

Why aren't they talking about the sanctity of the lives of rape victims?

If 30,000 male Republican politicians were held down, had their clothing stripped off, and had a foreign object (say a broom handle) rammed up their anuses for about 10 minutes or more, I don't think they would be talking about God's intentions, or how the body shuts that whole thing down, or the sanctity of life. Oh, and if some of then got raped by more than one person and some of them were beaten and some of them got tortured and some of them had other foreign objects... and some of them were burned... Then... oh, what if these 30,000 Republican leaders got a baby as a bonus gift! And, what if these 30,000 men were not allowed to get rid of the baby.

Then, in 31 states our (male) political leaders (girlfriends, remember that the vast majority of political leaders, business leaders, civic leaders... well, all leaders are men) have passed laws giving rapists access to the children that rape victims have given birth to. So, if the rapists have rights, then the victim might not be able to give the baby up for adoption.

So, now, the 30,000 Republican men who had broom handles rammed up their anuses (and some were beaten and some were burned and some had battery acid and some...) , and then were given a baby because that was God's will, now they cannot give the baby away because they will be co-parenting with the town alcoholic who lost her other children because of child-abuse.

[That is a good comparison. Since men don't get pregnant, it is a damned good comparison.]

YES! You read that correctly! First, you are raped. THEN, our Republican friends want to give the fertilized egg constitutional rights. THEN, our Republican leaders want to take away OUR right to have an abortion. THEN, in 31 stinking states, they give the rapists rights to the child that the rape victim gave birth to. SO, the rapist not only has access to OUR child, but he still has access to US! Yes, the rape victim shares custody with a violent felon.

Women who report rape and go to court are often vilified themselves. The incidence of rape is incredibly high. And, what does that tell us? THAT MANY MEN ARE RAPISTS. Not only do men rape women violently but they have sex with women who are unable to give informed consent because they are too young. They are unable to give consent because they are emotionally disturbed or intellectually handicapped.
They are unable to give consent because of alcohol or drug consumption. They are unable to give informed consent because they are in an unequal power relationship.

There have been studies in which as many as 40% of male college students admit to having forced a sexual encounter on someone else.

I think this is often not very disturbing to people. After all, I saw a remake of an old play recently in which a many "spanked" a grown woman.

So, just to make it real, picture it happening to a man. It did happen to a boy my daughter went to college with. He was given a "date rape" drug at a party. He was given too much and was unconscious for about 24 hours. He woke up in a hospital and does not know/remember what happened to him.

So, picture your son being held down by another bigger boy. Being kissed against his will. Being fondled against his will. Being raped. Being beaten. Being found by the police -- so, he didn't have a choice about reporting it. Being taken to the hospital. Neighbors finding out. Now, it's another story isn't it.

If the tolerance for violence does not indicate absolute loathing for women, then I do not know what does.

If the demand by men for control over decision making about women's choices does not indicate hatred for women, then I don't know what does.

If the demand by men to control women's access to birth control -- by controlling the funding -- does not indicate complete and total hatred and loathing, then I do not know what does.

We live in a world where men (in the Republican Party) do not want women to get cancer screenings for free  at Planned Parenthood because 3% of their services are abortions. Where abortion providers are murdered.

There are people who want to protect clusters of cells but do not care if grown women with children and families die of cancer.

Women, I fail to understand why a single one of you votes Republican.

I fail to understand why a single one of you lives with a man who votes Republican or supports any leader who wants to overturn Roe v Wade, opposes choice, opposes Planned Parenthood (where many women receive the only cancer screenings they could ever afford!), or opposed insurance paying for reproductive HEALTH CARE!

I cannot understand why you a sitting in pews and sending your hard-earned money to churches that have NEVER IN THEIR HISTORY HAD A WOMAN LEADER and who do not believe that you have a right to control your own body.

We are a sick society. Most of the time I am used to that. Some times I am overwhelmed by it.

All of my love and devotion,

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Dear Men & Boys: About Women's Rights

Dear Male Persons:

First, you do know that I sometimes write political satire, correct? Fair warning: Do not take everything that I say literally, or seriously, or to the bank, or to your priest or minister.

Of course, I do love you, men & boys alike. After all, you represent 49% of the population and all of my grandfathers, uncles, and my father. And, I loved all of them in the unconditional way that I love all of humanity and that I love all men and boys.

Thank Goddess, I don't have any brothers--that might have been too much even for me.

So, I am going to present to you very compelling reasons that you should support women and women's rights.

1. Well, duh! Your religion compels you to support your mothers, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, and daughters.

Every religion, and godless humanism (!), tells us to cherish human life and to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Don't you hate it when religion bites you in the butt!?!

2. Increased wages for women benefits YOU.

If women made more money... think about the implications for YOU!

I have a cousin who made so much more money than her husband that she had to move in with her mother for 5 years to afford his settlement! WOW!!! How cool would that be, gentlemen?

If your female partner made a lot more money than you, she might have to buy out your share of the house, pay child support, pay health insurance -- maybe even dental -- for those rug rats, pay for private school tuition, cough up maintenance for YOU... ah, I see a trip to Mexico for Christmas coming up!

3. Have fewer children and save big $$$$!

a. Is there some reason that you were unaware of this? Living in the Midwest and without sending your child to college, it costs approximately $167,000 to rear a child.

Get on board with birth control.

b. Get birth control covered by insurance and save your family $$$$.

Gentlemen (and, I use that word loosely),  why don't you want birth control covered by insurance?

Are you aware that the most reliable forms of birth control are forms of FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE CARE that are PRESCRIBED BY DOCTORS!

If it is covered by insurance, it saves YOU money. YOU don't want to save money?

You did not know that "oral contraceptives" means birth control pills? Right?

YOU have been advocating that your own insurance should NOT have to pay for BC pills so that YOU YOURSELVES will have to pay for it?

4. Practice your religion. Do not legislate it.

If you don't believe in contraception and abortion -- then don't use them and don't have them.

But, do not try to discourage or prevent people of other religions or philosophical beliefs from using contraception, benefiting from a wide range of reproductive health care and having abortions by preventing insurance from paying for it or by closing down Planned Parenthood. Because that is wrong.

You would be preventing women from having cancer screenings in order to discourage them from using birth control and having abortions.

Your would be preventing poor women with health problems from getting free contraception in order to prevent an 18 year old from getting BC pills -- and that is wrong.

You would be preventing women and men from getting free STD screenings because you think they shouldn't be sexually active -- and, that is wrong.

Insurance should pay for health care. Period. And, Planned Parenthood pays for itself a hundred times over. Period.

You practice your religion and don't legislate it.

5. Save $$$$ as a society by treating problems early!

Guess which costs more? Finding out you have breast cancer, ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, etc when it is at Stage I or at Stage IV? Go ahead, guess!

6. Have a heart, gentlemen. Have a heart.

Guess which hurts the most? Losing your wife to cancer or having treatment in the early stages? It could be YOUR daughter who gets a cancer screening at Planned Parenthood.

There are many more reasons to support women:
You can inherit more money from your mother, granny, and aunts. Your daughters can support you in your old age. You won't blame yourself when your daughter cannot get appropriate treatment after being raped and gets pregnant. Your wife will support you in your old age. You won't blame yourself when you son gets 3 girls pg on Prom Night...

Oh, I do so love male persons! I hope I have not hurt anyone's feelings. I realize that this is a sensitive topic and that is why it needs to be discussed very loudly, frequently and publicly -- that is how we desensitize ourselves!

Your friend,


PS By the way, requiring hospitals to provide health care is not religious persecution. If you want to practice religion, build a church! If you want to practice health care, build a hospital or clinic. If the only health care facility in my county won't perform an abortion to save my life, I think I am being persecuted. If religious groups go into the "health care business," they need to provide health care. If providing all legal health care is against your religion, you might have gone into the wrong field or your employer needs to hire some new employees.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Dear Political Liars

Dear Political Liars:

I so wish you could have known my mother--either as a mother or a teacher. Pretty sure she would have just loved you to death. You would have had so much respect for her. Fear and respect.

She isn't here to help you grow up to be good, honest, strong, moral, honest, altruistic, honest, competent, loving, thoughtful, honest, compassionate, intelligent, honest men so I am just going to pass on a couple of her rules.

You do know that I wrote "men" not because I am a sexist, but because it appears to me that women are generally your moral superiors and you need a little more help than women!  Oops? Was that stereotyping? I think the Nuns on the Bus agree!  Does that make me a sexist. This is confusing!

I will skip the 1001 rules about not standing in doorways when people are trying to pass through, not standing in the middle of the room, not standing with the refridge door open, not standing with your mouth open ... Those are in the "Not Standing..." chapter.

But, we have bigger fish to fry than that. We are going to go to the "Etiquette on Lying" chapter.

Mother's rules are non-negotiable. You don't have to agree with them, see a need for them, or understand them. Since it is mostly Conservative Right-Wing Republican Christian men who Put Women on a Pedestal (never have I seen this) that seem to have a need for re-education, this should appeal to your traditional values! My mother was a Democrat outside our home, but inside, that woman was a dictator.

Here are two of Mother's rules for life:

Do not lie by commission, omission, distortion, bragging, exaggeration... or any other sneaky method you can think up. If it isn't the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, it isn't the truth. And, do not make Mother think of the exactly correct wording to find out the exact truth--because she counts that as dishonesty. Whew!

Do not call anyone a "liar" or accuse people of "lying." Ohhhh, how I hated that rule. Still do.

So what to do when some lying liar is lying to you. As children, to be blunt, we were screwed. Totally defenseless. Kid lies to you. Not even allowed to call the kid a liar. That stinks.

So, I made two excellent decisions. One: I ignore the rule about accusing people of lying when ring-tailed smarmy smirking lying bustards tell bare-faced lies about actual factual provable facts!

Two: I pretend I am a scientist. I just keep stating the facts. Re-stating the facts. Defending the facts. It isn't really calling anyone a liar or accusing them of lying -- just a discussion of fact.

Oh!!! This is why Republicans don't believe in science. Shhhhh... they have it confused with religion and think that if they don't believe in gravity, they are not bound by the rules of gravity. Ahhhh... can I say it? Does this have anything to do with being... No. Not going there.

Romney and Ryan, you are liars. Big fat liars. Pants on fire liars. And, you think you have Democrats tied up in knots because most of polite society, like my mother, has not come up with an attractive response to a bare-faced lie told by a bare-faced ring-tailed liar? And, the public does not like hearing people accused of lying or being liar?

I hope not. I hope not. Keep on speaking truth to power.

With buckets and buckets of love for all those that disagree with me! It is my belief that we can have different values, different opinions, different belief systems -- but, we cannot have different facts.

Go get 'im, Joe!

Your friend,


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Dear Jobbers--The Haters of the Unemployed

Dear Jobbers:

Notice how I just shortened that? From "Haters of the Unemployed" to Jobbers?" I love nicknames almost as much as George Bush does!

Today, I have decided that I am going to educate you! Because I love you and I think that you are worth educating!

So, "GET A JOB," you frequently shout at me as I stand with stinky hippie tree-hugging femi-nazi atheist tax-and-spend baby-killing liberals. Why don't the "Jobbers" (as I call you) notice that the folks they are shouting at are so often OLDER (Yes, I know I am shouting. My blog, my rules.), clean, conventional, well kempt, respectable, local, frequently church-going, peace-loving, kind, smiling neighbors of yours! It's cognitive dissonance or stupidity--haven't decided. That's for another day.

 I could take the Jobbers shouts as a warning that we are going to become un-retired and need jobs if Republicans get elected... but, nah. I am going to overwhelm you with love and help instead! Oh, I do so love "love!"

You just haven't thought through this hatred you have of lazy no good takers who don't have jobs--which are plentiful, well-paying and come with terrific benefits on "Bull Shit Mountain" (to steal a term from Jon Stewart).

I accidentally saw a couple of minutes of a Fox show (forgive me!). The interrogator was talking to a NYC director of a welfare/human services/jobs program that also assisted people in getting food stamps. There was a young intern there who claimed that when she went in for help in getting a job, she was told that the jobs agency couldn't help her get a job but could get food stamps for her. A researcher walked around a block or two and counted 40 business that had "Help Wanted" signs in the windows. He spoke with a few people in line who said the jobs didn't pay well enough.  Sooooo...

Let's look at the big picture.

I believe that Republicans claim that we have a jobs crisis and that President Obama hasn't created any? Cannot have it both ways, Jobbers. Which is it? Obama created plentiful jobs which are there for the taking -- or we have a jobs crisis and there is little work?

And... it is not unusual for employers to advertise and keep "Help Wanted" signs up all the time -- job or no job. An organization in my home town has advertised for a certain position for years -- and, never hires. My daughter has had this experience repeatedly. Organizations and companies continually advertise, get dozens of qualified applicants, if not hundreds, and the job remains open month after month--even entry level job with very basic requirements. I have no idea what the strategy is behind this.

The cost of commuting makes some jobs simply not affordable. Hey, Obama does not set the price of oil -- oil companies and speculation does that.

Hmmm... Of course not everyone can physically do every job. A 55 year old ex-GM employee with a bad back and bad knees probably cannot do hard physical labor. I'm not a doctor, so that is just a wild guess on my part.

And, not everyone is qualified for every job. Never worked in retail? Might not get that shop job. Don't have an engineering degree. Damn, shoulda thought about that 28 years ago. Not a nurse? Oh, well... as a great philosopher once said.

Ah.... schedules. Your spouse works at night and you have a baby? Guess you cannot take the night shift unless you put your child in over-night "day care." It is illegal to leave infants unattended. No day shifts available. You're screwed!

Dear me... here is a job! But, the take home is less than your rent & utilities. Hmmm... Yes, already living in the cheapest housing available. Oh, just cash in some of your stocks! How could I forget that! Thank goodness Mittens and Mrs. Mittens didn't have to do that. Whew!

Forget benefits of any kind -- vacation days, health insurance, life insurance: You have got to be kidding!

It is an employers market out there! By the time imaginary jobs, impractical jobs, physically impossible jobs, specialty jobs, financially impossible jobs, etc. are taken into account, there just are not that many jobs.

Human beings have innate needs for survival, security, respectability, self-esteem, accomplishment, and (yes) even self-expression. There is no one who does not want to earn a good living, have good health care--and, therefore good health, and have decent housing. I promise.

So, jobbers, I believe that experience is the best teacher. In fact, I believe it is the only teacher! And, Jobbers, because I love you soooooooooo much and want you to become informed, knowledgeable, wise and compassionate, I am hoping that you all lose your jobs!!!

Then YOU strong and hardy people (Why do  Repubs believe they are the only strong and hardy folks who chop down trees, hunt squirrels, eat deer, scavenge for food, shoot their neighbors, build their own roads & schools & septic systems and are simultaneously rich and successful) ... whoa!

Back on track. OK, you Republican Jobbers who know exactly how to do everything perfectly, how to plan your lives so that you never need help, how to find a $300,000 job in a day--or how to live like a millionaire on $8.00/hour can show the rest of us poor slobs how it's done!

Jobbers, I so hope I haven't hurt your feelings! Don't just shout, "Get a job!" at me, hire me! You won't be sorry! Yes, offer me a job! Oh, I love you so very much!

Your friend,