Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Dear Narcissists and Those Who Love Them

Beloveds, our watch-dog media are chasing Twitter squirrels while the GOP steals our democracy through the device of a ranting raving ignorant narcissist.

In defense of normal/healthy people: Many people have never had the privilege of interacting with/being closely related to a serious narcissist. It is... disgusting. That's what it is.

Narcissists are a gaping maw of greed - for money, attention, fame, love, respect... with absolutely no feelings that they should reciprocate. It hurts the healthy person's eyes to look at a narcissist.

Most of us cannot believe our eye. We think it is all a giant misunderstanding. It isn't.

We think that the vile behavior is covering up a sad lack of self-esteem. It isn't.

The faster that we face reality the faster we can address reality:

> Narcissists are irrational.

> Narcissists lie. It is what they do.

> They do not experience shame or embarrassed.

> When caught in a lie, they deny and deny and deny.

> They are perfectly confident lying to witnesses of their actions.

> They do not experience remorse.

> They do not feel sad or happy for others.

> They have -0- empathy.

> They do not change directions.

> They are not influenced by anything except their own needs & wants.

> If they appear to love someone, it is because that person is a source or gratification to them. A "supply."

> They do not feel love.


"Narcissistic personality disorder is indicated by five or more of the following symptoms:

"Exaggerates own importance

"Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance

"Believes he or she is special and can only be understood by other special people or institutions

"Requires constant attention and admiration from others

"Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment

"Takes advantage of others to reach his or her own goals

"Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy

"Is often envious of others or believes other people are envious of him or her

"Shows arrogant behaviors and attitudes
50%-75% of the people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are male. Additionally, it is common for many adolescents to display the characteristics listed above; this does not indicate that they will later develop narcissistic personality disorder.

"Causes

Causes of narcissistic personality disorder are not yet well-understood. Genetic and biological factors as well as environment and early life experiences are all thought to play a role in the development of this condition. "

https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder

My love to you healthy normal compassionate people!
VLL

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Dear Health Care Dummies

Health Care for Dummies

Lack of insurance = lack of health care.

Lack of health care = dying. Dying now. Or, dying early. 10 years early? 20 years early?

Lack of health care = no physical exams, no testicular cancer tests or treatment, no PAP tests, no pre-natal care, no breast cancer screening, no Viagra, no treatment for … anything.

Small medical problems become big ones. Ewww, that spot on your nose is getting bigger. That lump in your testicles - WTH is it? Just watch it grow!

You don’t think the government has the right to force you to buy insurance? They have the right to tax me to pay for you and I do not fucking want to pay for your care when you are in an accident and paralyzed or burned or get cancer or.... Get insurance.

No, charities do not provide health care to anyone or everyone who needs it. They do not compensate for lack of insurance.

No, ER’s do not provide treatment for diabetes, cancer, problem pregnancies, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, depresson…

ER’s stabilize patients and discharge them.

Oh, so you were seen “for free” in the ER and then had to be admitted? Surprise! You will still get a bill and when your old mum passes away and the hospital will claim her falling down old house.


 I promise that I will visit you in the hospital, just before you die, when you finally had to be admitted from the ER. And, I will attend your funeral.

But, I cannot send flowers because I have to pay for my insurance.

Love, V

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Dear Dear Dear PP Fact-Impaired Friends

Oh, my dear, dear, dear me! Get your facts straight on Planned Parenthood.

Friends, get off the propaganda sites! Read a real newspaper - a reliable and reputable one... or two or three. Use reliable and reputable on-line news sites. 

I am too old, too tired, too hungry, too sunshine depleted to do your research for you.  If I challenged every falsehood or every misunderstanding that see or hear or read on FB every single stinkin' day of my life, I would do nothing else.

If you don't know the difference between fact and fiction, step away from your computer right now. 

Do your own research! If you don't know how, take a class! Take a journalism class or psychology class or a research class - they usually cover the basics.

Just the facts, ma'am - about Planned Parenthood.

"Just like other kinds of health insurance, Medicaid reimburses Planned Parenthood’s doctors and nurses for the preventive medical services they provide, including life-saving cancer screenings, HIV testing, and birth control. There are no special favors here."

The "government" does not fund PP: "At least 60% of Planned Parenthood patients rely on public health programs like Medicaid and Title X for their preventive and primary care. So, when you hear extreme politicians talking about “defunding” Planned Parenthood, they really mean blocking patients who rely on public health care programs from getting their care at Planned Parenthood centers..."

"Planned Parenthood health centers focus on prevention: 80 percent of our patients receive services to prevent unintended pregnancy.

"Planned Parenthood services help prevent approximately 579,000 unintended pregnancies in a single year.

"Planned Parenthood provides more than 270,000 Pap tests and more than 360,000 breast exams in a single year, critical services in detecting cancer.

"Planned Parenthood provides more than 4.2 million tests and treatments for sexually transmitted infections, including more than 650,000 HIV tests.

"Three percent of all Planned Parenthood health services are abortion services.

"Planned Parenthood affiliates provide educational programs and outreach to 1.5 million young people and adults in a single year.

"Planned Parenthood has more than 10 million activists, supporters, and donors working for women's health and safety and our fundamental reproductive rights.

Join us in the fight for commonsense policies that foster the sexual and reproductive health and rights of individuals, families, and communities."

""What is the Hyde Amendment?

Passed by Congress in 1976, the Hyde Amendment excludes abortion from the comprehensive health care services provided to low-income people by the federal government through Medicaid. Congress has made some exceptions to the funding ban, which have varied over the years. At present, the federal Medicaid program mandates abortion funding in cases of rape or incest, as well as when a pregnant woman's life is endangered by a physical disorder, illness, or injury."

I have used PP services & my daughter has used their services - and, neither of us has ever had an abortion.


https://www.aclu.org/other/public-funding-abortion

https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/blog/how-federal-funding-works-at-planned-parenthood

- See more at: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/who-we-are/planned-parenthood-at-a-glance#sthash.ksbkZNRm.dpuf


https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn

I really love you. I really really do!

Vivian

Friday, February 24, 2017

Dear GOP Lovers

Are you a "die hard" Republican - not to be confused with "conservative?" 

Do you believe everything Republicans, Fox News, Breitbart, etc tell you?

Shame on you! Get out and blow the stink off! Get out of your comfort zone.

The GOP and their allies in conservative media (Fox News, Breitbart, etc.) have been working over 30 years on the propaganda coup of a lifetime.

They:

·        Created single issue voters: They made abortion the one and only voting issue for a significant minority of Americans.

·        Created “right to life” anti-abortion activists who have no opposition to GOP policies that cost the lives of thousands of adults and children here and abroad:
o       Military actions/war;
o       Refusal to support universal health care;
o       Opposition to basic social safety network programs (food stamps, housing assistance, etc.);
o       Opposition to environmental protections (creating unsafe drinking water, etc);
o       Support of death penalty; etc.

·        Succeeded in making millions of Americans believe that the most respected, accomplished, independent media cannot be trusted on anything anywhere anytime – the “lame stream media.” The only media that can be trusted is ideological right wing media.
·        Attacked free speech. The current president who is convincing people that independent journalism is “fake news” and that journalists are “the enemy of the people.”
·        Lied repeatedly about violence, destruction of property, etc at well documented peaceful protests.
·        Used derogatory language to create false beliefs about political opponents:
·        Environmentalists have become “tree huggers.”
·        Community minded people who believe in “the commons” are labeled “socialists.”
·        Created a hatred of our very means of organizing our community lives: our government!
·        Created a belief that private for profit corporations – whose CEO, executives, managers make millions and millions of dollars –  are more trustworthy than our people-owned and operated government.
·        Persuaded Americans to hate the poor – while claiming to be Christian!  The basic inequities and inequalities of life are ignored and poor people are blamed for their state.
·        Convinced the American public that this country is and should be a theocracy and that non-Christians are at fault for social ills!
·        Made immigrants the enemy. Yes, the children and grandchildren of immigrants now believe that immigrants are the enemy.

The list could go on and on and on…Where do we go from here? We live in a bifurcated political world. 

With great love and much sadness but always S.W.A.K.

Vivian




Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Dear Activists

We have political leaders who completely isolate themselves from any and all opposition: They do not keep an open office. They do not answer email. They do not have open "Town Hall Meetings." They throw out dissenters. They don't take questions from the floor. They don't answer questions.

They are firmly secured behind an impenetrable wall.

What will it take to make them answer to the American people for their voting records and political positions? To answer to their friends and neighbors?

What are your ideas. Please share them!

Will Wisconsin - and, Janesville in particular - be willing to shed our down-home good manners and do whatever it takes to make our elected officials accountable? Uncomfortable? Miserable even?

Will neighbors be willing to break the social norms and make bold statements?

Will neighbors, friends, church members, etc. be willing to write letters to the editor and keep it up day in and day out? Calling out our congress-critters?

Will friends and neighbors be willing to plaster the neighborhood with Planned Parenthood signs?

Will activists be willing to have close-to-home events and invite the press?

Will we be willing to call donors and boycott them?

Getting out of the mess that we are in is going to take bold and sustained action. What are your ideas?

Wisconsin has the trifecta: A Republican Gov, Senate, House. Oh... and a politicized Supreme Court. A majority of governors are Republicans. Many other states have this trifecta. Dems are a minority in the US Senate and House...

Love, love, love,
Vivian

Monday, December 19, 2016

My Dear Citiznes

Our new president’s behavior is not normal. I wish it weren't true, but...

Shouting, interrupting, name-calling, and threatening to jail a political opponent is not acceptable behavior. We wouldn’t allow our children to behavior this way. We don’t behave this way.

This behavior is completely unacceptable and we should not adjust to it. It is not refreshing. It is not daring. It is dysfunctional. It is not normal.

A president involving adult children (who are business partners of his) in governmental affairs is not acceptable and not normal political behavior.

Not giving press interviews after being elected to the highest office in the land is not normal political behavior. Being inaccessible is not in keeping with our democratic values. 

Refusing to release tax returns is not normal acceptable political behavior. It is undemocratic.

Threatening mass deportations is undemocratic. It is not normal political behavior. It is dangerous.

A religious registry is reminiscent of Nazi Germany. It is undemocratic and a betrayal of our history. It is not normal.

Using religion as a factor in approving immigration is not normal political behavior. It is a betrayal of our history. It is undemocratic. It is not normal.

Let us not “normalize” the abnormal; the maladjusted; the dysfunctional.

A president whose behavior is abnormal; who lacks any relevant experience; and who has a personal and business history of repeated failure is not normal and not acceptable.


Let’s vow not to adjust; to resist; to speak out; to raise our expectations and never lower them.

I love you. I really really do. 

Love, 
Vivian

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Dear Parents

Oh, fer Gawd's sake! Put away your paddles and belts and spoons and hairbrushes and... whips and ....

Quit sending out those emails and making those Facebook posts about the wonders of spanking children and how much you just loved being spanked. What are you? A masochist? 

These messages make me bleed from the eyes and wherever! 

I am opposed to any form of physical discipline. I doubt that there is any evidence that there is a positive correlation between corporeal punishment and success in later life or any other positive outcome. I would have to actually read the research to believe it.

I have worked with hundr
eds of people who were physically punished as children. Children vary in temperament and sensitivity. Just like other humans... older humans... 


Some children are terrified. Some are humiliated. Some experience a spanking on the buttocks as a sexual act - even if all they can express at the time is terror.

I have been spanked and seen numerous instances of physical punishment. Never, ever, not even once was the one dishing out the punishment in a calm state of mind with the purpose of teaching a lesson. Therefore...

2. Physical punishment teaches children that it is OK to act out on anger - as opposed to finding other ways of coping with conflict and anger.

3. Spanking is less effective than many other means of punishment.

EX: When my daughter was a toddler, she suddenly learned to turn the disposal on and off - over, and over, and over. She was so precocious!


I asked her to stop. I "scolded" her. I gave her a time out. She returned each time to flipping the switch. I then stood very close to her, crossed by arms, and turned my back. She burst into tears and never flipped that switch again.

There are countless other vastly superior methods of discipline - but, they sometimes require thought on the part of the parent.  Stopping and thinking and acting creatively. What a bummer!


Methods that I and friends have used: 

Have child
a. Write essays! 


b. Sit on the stairs and recite the multiplication table - or the alphabet or addition/subtraction facts or poetry! Yes. Poetry!


c. Replace what they loose, abuse, misuse, etc from their own allowance - using reason in terms of amounts, of course.
Don't be a Scrooge, fer the love of childhood!

d. Read aloud!


e. Run around the house - get some fresh air!


f. Clean the house, dust, do dishes, etc. I know that you are not teaching your brats this because... I know your kids!


g. Write apology letters.


h. Call elderly relatives! Accomplishes a good deed and ... well... children do not want to call elderly relatives.


Parents - take a time out! It's too good for kids. You are the one who needs it!

The single most effective tool I have ever, ever seen or used to eliminate undesirable behavior (nagging, whining, begging, bad language, etc.) is the Reverse Reward!

A. Describe exactly the behavior that you want to stop. (Don't say, "Cut it out" or "Stop that.")


Say, "Do not ask to go the movie again tonight."

B. Then... put a treat on the table (for a very young child) or a jar of treats (for older children). The "treat" has to be something desirable to the child: candy, stickers, coins - or even a mix.

Tell a very young child:

"You will lose that treat if you (beg, whine, ask, shout, etc) in the next minute."

Tell an older child:

"Here is a jar of treats. (Or, money, or stickers, or ...). You will lose one treat every time you beg/whine/shout. Let's try it. You shout out right now!"

After the child has begged, whined, etc. then YOU remove the treat.

Every time the child does the naughty deed, remove another treat, coin, etc

At the end of the time period (as long as a week for teens, a minute for a toddler, an hour or day for children in the mid-range) the child gets what's left.

Now, spanking is certainly easier, isn't it?


I have a very scary theory.  Spanking feels really delicious to parents, doesn't it? I hope not. But...

I love you just as much as you love getting a spanking!

VLL