DEAR PARENTS

Dear Parents: Freud blamed you and I do, too.

Wednesday night at dinner, I was shocked by the little family sitting next to us: two older adults and an young boy around seven. They were older and I assumed that they were the grandparents.

The woman sat next to the child. The man sat across from the woman. The woman was attentive without being overly so and the child was quiet and well-behaved.

The man did not look at nor speak to the child the entire meal. That is what grabbed my attention.

Later, the woman asked the boy to, "Give Daddy a bite." Was he really really really the father!?! Did I hear that correctly? 

Then, the next day I am in line at a store. The woman in front of me has a toddler that I cannot see. She is asking the child, "Do you want your doll? Do you want the lady to hand you your doll?" The clerk hands over the doll and the toddler reaches for it. The child is a boy -- unless it is a girl whose every item of clothing is "boy's." This mother just bought her boy a doll! Halleluyah! 

We have inspected every single bit of sexism in child-rearing. But, this wasn't words or theory. This was a picture.

We tell boys in no uncertain words -- and, in full color pictures -- that they do not take care of children. Are not responsible for children. Do not attend to children. Do not even need to look at or speak to their children. Or, listen.

Every time we say, "Boys do not play with dolls," "Dolls are sissy toys," "Boys don't play house," "Don't be a sissy," we are telling them that they don't need to pay attention to children or care for them.

Go buy all the boys in your life a doll. Now! Get out the door.

BTW, I have never met a mother who doesn't know how old her children are nor what grade they are in. But, I have interviewed men who don't know their children's ages nor their grade in school.

So, go already! Buy those dolls!

Love, 
VLL

DEAR SISTERS!

My Dear Sisters:

Here is what we have.

We have predominantly white men in charge of our country at the local, state, and national level and in every branch of government.

These men are controlling our lives through legislation and policy as well as through academia and their professional lives and works. And, they are shockingly ignorant and hateful toward women.

They reveal continuously, in public, that they lack even the most basic knowledge of women, anatomy and physiology, basic reproduction, birth control, abortion, psychology, etc.

And, they reveal their complete lack of empathy and their utter disregard for the welfare of their wives, mothers, sisters, daughters.

This level of disregard amounts to hatred.

Are we so accustomed to this that it has become invisible to us? Don't let that happen.

Let’s correct the record.

No, birth control is not abortion. Perhaps this has been a talking point within the Catholic Church to discourage birth control. But, millions of women are not Catholic, don’t want to follow the religion of our lawmakers, and don’t want a Supreme Court Justice this ignorant and biased.

Brett Kavanaugh Refers To Birth Control As 'Abortion-Inducing Drugs' At Confirmation Hearing – this week. NYT

And, no, the female body does not have a way of “shutting that whole thing down” in the case of rape as Todd Akin professed. Women – and girls – get pregnant from rape. Republican men and women elected a man this ignorant and vile to a position of power over women. 

19 August 2012, U.S. Representative Todd Akin (R) of Missouri

Nope. There is no such thing as "legitimate" and "illegitimate" rape.

Republican Akin didn’t give up! “Two years later, while appearing in another television interview with MSNBC to promote his new book Firing Back, Akin asserted that “legitimate rape” was a law enforcement term and that his original remark had been “intentionally misunderstood.” No, it isn’t a law enforcement term.

No, women cannot relax and enjoy rape. Rape is brutal. Internal and external organs are ripped and damaged, their hair is pulled out, they are beaten and bruised, and they are sometimes raped by pipes, brooms, etc. Imagine a man having a broomstick forced up his anus or down his throat while being beaten. Can you hear us now?
“Rape is kinda like the weather. If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it.” (Clayton Williams, GOP nominee, TX, 1991)

No, women don't usually feel this way, Mr. Santorum. 

“Santorum responded by saying that although a pregnancy resulting from a rape might be “horrible,” it was nonetheless a “gift of human life” and that “we have to make the best out of a bad situation.” 

Does any woman alive believe that “God intended” for her to get pregnant from rape? No.

“Even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

23 October 2012, Richard Mourdock (R)  

No, women do not “get cleaned out” by rape kits. Even women can be shockingly ignorant or willing to go to disgusting lengths to promote her view:
“In the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits, where a woman can get cleaned out.”

23 June 2013, Jodie Laubenberg, Republican of TX

No. No one ever has a right to use his -- or her -- superior strength to harm another human being. This makes me think someone should have done a background check of Rep Lockman.

“If a woman has (the right to an abortion), why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death.”

February 2014, Lawrence Lockman, Maine

I think women might be forgiven for engaging in "identity politics," or a little misandry. 

Not feeling the love today, 

VLL

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/personal-foul/

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/07/health/kavanaugh-abortion-inducing-contraceptives.html