Dear Girls 2 Women: My Parents' Rules

Dearest Girl & Women:

Ahhhh... You are so easy to love! You make the world go round! You give birth to... everyone and every thing. We women are the very first incubators! We incubate and birth and nurture the world. 

And, we hope that there are a host of others joining us in nurturing children, including terrific fathers, families, extended families and communities.

Too often there aren't.

So, if I were an anxious fearful person g... wait right there! I am an anxious fearful person from a long line of anxious fearful people and depression era parents and grandparents!

Of course, I would love to give everyone advice! Parents, you betcha, I know just what to do to increase the likelihood that your daughters will be safe and secure throughout life. Schools? Yes, I know just what to tell you! Communities? Yes, just ask?

You could ask Nicholas Kristoff, also. He's more famous than I am (huh!) and he writes about the condition of women in third world countries. Because much of the advice that he offers applies to women everywhere.

Here is what Girls 2 Women need to do to increase the odds that they will have safe and secure lives.

Vivian's Parents' Rules

1. Girls must get an education.

We all know many people who do not want their children to go go college and who actively discourage it. They do not promote vocational training. They do not save money for their children's education. Many women do not get jobs or second jobs so their girls can go to college and start life debt free. Fathers do not get second jobs. They do not get advice for their children. They do not visit schools or apprenticeships. They never talk to a counselor.

So, when your girl is 30 and being abused and has no place to go and no money and 3 children and no way to earn a living... Just sayin'.

Send your girls to school.

2. Girls must have a profession, occupation or trade. 

It has to be a profession or a skilled trade or occupation.

3. Delay marriage. 

4. Delay parenthood. Early marriage and early parenthood are economic disaster for young women and, for young men. My parents said so.

5. Every woman has to have a job until retirement is paid for or she dies -- which ever comes first.

My father was a tough man. And, life is tough. A homemaker was just a woman on the brink of abandonment and starvation or a man working too hard -- one of the two -- in his view. Harsh, I know. But, then he had gone hungry and I haven't.

A career, a job, is a wonderful thing! My grandmother was widowed at 26 and did not remarry until her early 50's -- just before retiring. She was a single woman living and working in "the city!" My mother worked and I thought she was a rocket scientist! I couldn't wait to own a brief case and go to work every day -- I hated school!

6.  Every Girl 2 Woman has to have a savings account for emergencies, a retirement plan and a Social Security (fingers crossed) account.

7. If a husband is unreliable or dishonorable, he's gotta go. Hey, my daddy made these rules!

8. Girls, you gotta live below your means. Way below your means. Or you will never have security. And, living beyond your means means (get it!?!) that:

+You bought a $200,000 at the top of the market, paid nothing down, the market went down and now you owe the bank $200,000 for a house worth $150. You're screwed.
+You bought a car that is now worth less than you owe, you cannot afford the payments and... you're screwed.
+You have 3 children, your husband moved to IL, you cannot collect child support and... Your credit card payment is higher than your income... so you're...

9. Stay close to friends.

10. Stay close to family. Take care of each other. Never become isolated.

11. Have a secret account somewhere. JK. Not really. Sort of. Hmmm... Cannot decide...

Hey, these are insecure times. Don't just be safe! Aim higher than that! Be secure, because... well, my daddy said so and he was a ring-tailed SOB and what he says, goes!

Your friend,

Vivian