Dear Feminists - It's a BFS

Dear Feminists:

Have we just screwed ourselves - metaphorically speaking, of course?

In the interest of persuading men and women-hating women that we are as capable and competent as men, have we grossly underestimated the seriousness and significance of women's reproductive issues including menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth.

Let me put it this way. At least weekly, my father had some huge temper tantrum or became grief-stricken and cried over something such as seeing a poor child at the grocery store. Or, he became upset with my mother and threatened to leave her - he was incapable of getting through the day without her. Or, someone died and he was unable to set foot inside a funeral home because he was emotionally unable to.

Yet, no one doubted his capacity to hold a job.

On the other hand, my mother never had a temper tantrum, never missed a day of work, attended every funeral and I was 18 before I ever saw her cry. She made a lot of people cry, but no one had ever seen her cry.

But, people were concerned in those days that she might be unable to work when she got her period or if she had children.

So, we have been making light of periods, pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing for about 50 years now.

Now, politicians seem to be completely unaware that women absolutely have to have reproductive health care their entire lives and it is a big f#$*ing deal.

And, conservatives think women have abortions for convenience - sort of like stopping by the 7-11.

Maybe I took after my father and am a big crybaby, but menstrual periods were a really big deal. 

I had dysmenorrhea. When I got my period, I got chills, diarrhea, extreme pain and cramping, and vomited for the first day of my period. 

And, pregnancy and childbirth are really big deals. Such big deals that women all over the world would rather die than be pregnant or give birth.

Pregnancy is a life altering event for everyone and a life ruining event for most young girls and many women of any age.

Pregnant women often gain enormous amounts of weight. Pregnancy ruins the shape of your body forever.

Many women suffer nausea, heartburn, headaches, swelling, urinary frequency, backaches, constipation, breast tenderness. 

Some women are nauseated for months and some experience such severe nausea that they have to be hospitalized. 

There is absolutely nothing funny about childbirth in spite of how it is portrayed in movies. It is horrendous. 

When my daughter was born, the nurses told us that there were so many patients in the obstetrical ward were unhappy! Why? There were so many girls too young to be having children. We thought we were on the "happy ward!" No, not so.

Young girls and boys have sexual desires and desires for relationship, comfort, commitment, etc. years before they have any ability to take care of a baby.

So, there is a truth that is just not being addressed. Women and girls are not having abortions for "convenience" as conservatives and Evangelicals would have us believe. 

Just as in the past, girls and women have abortions because an un-planned un-wanted pregnancy is a terrible horrible thing and they would rather be dead. Nothing will stop abortion. Nothing.

And, women's reproductive health care and experiences are really big deals.

With love for women everywhere.

Vivian