Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Dear Jobbers--The Haters of the Unemployed

Dear Jobbers:

Notice how I just shortened that? From "Haters of the Unemployed" to Jobbers?" I love nicknames almost as much as George Bush does!

Today, I have decided that I am going to educate you! Because I love you and I think that you are worth educating!

So, "GET A JOB," you frequently shout at me as I stand with stinky hippie tree-hugging femi-nazi atheist tax-and-spend baby-killing liberals. Why don't the "Jobbers" (as I call you) notice that the folks they are shouting at are so often OLDER (Yes, I know I am shouting. My blog, my rules.), clean, conventional, well kempt, respectable, local, frequently church-going, peace-loving, kind, smiling neighbors of yours! It's cognitive dissonance or stupidity--haven't decided. That's for another day.

 I could take the Jobbers shouts as a warning that we are going to become un-retired and need jobs if Republicans get elected... but, nah. I am going to overwhelm you with love and help instead! Oh, I do so love "love!"

You just haven't thought through this hatred you have of lazy no good takers who don't have jobs--which are plentiful, well-paying and come with terrific benefits on "Bull Shit Mountain" (to steal a term from Jon Stewart).

I accidentally saw a couple of minutes of a Fox show (forgive me!). The interrogator was talking to a NYC director of a welfare/human services/jobs program that also assisted people in getting food stamps. There was a young intern there who claimed that when she went in for help in getting a job, she was told that the jobs agency couldn't help her get a job but could get food stamps for her. A researcher walked around a block or two and counted 40 business that had "Help Wanted" signs in the windows. He spoke with a few people in line who said the jobs didn't pay well enough.  Sooooo...

Let's look at the big picture.

I believe that Republicans claim that we have a jobs crisis and that President Obama hasn't created any? Cannot have it both ways, Jobbers. Which is it? Obama created plentiful jobs which are there for the taking -- or we have a jobs crisis and there is little work?

And... it is not unusual for employers to advertise and keep "Help Wanted" signs up all the time -- job or no job. An organization in my home town has advertised for a certain position for years -- and, never hires. My daughter has had this experience repeatedly. Organizations and companies continually advertise, get dozens of qualified applicants, if not hundreds, and the job remains open month after month--even entry level job with very basic requirements. I have no idea what the strategy is behind this.

The cost of commuting makes some jobs simply not affordable. Hey, Obama does not set the price of oil -- oil companies and speculation does that.

Hmmm... Of course not everyone can physically do every job. A 55 year old ex-GM employee with a bad back and bad knees probably cannot do hard physical labor. I'm not a doctor, so that is just a wild guess on my part.

And, not everyone is qualified for every job. Never worked in retail? Might not get that shop job. Don't have an engineering degree. Damn, shoulda thought about that 28 years ago. Not a nurse? Oh, well... as a great philosopher once said.

Ah.... schedules. Your spouse works at night and you have a baby? Guess you cannot take the night shift unless you put your child in over-night "day care." It is illegal to leave infants unattended. No day shifts available. You're screwed!

Dear me... here is a job! But, the take home is less than your rent & utilities. Hmmm... Yes, already living in the cheapest housing available. Oh, just cash in some of your stocks! How could I forget that! Thank goodness Mittens and Mrs. Mittens didn't have to do that. Whew!

Forget benefits of any kind -- vacation days, health insurance, life insurance: You have got to be kidding!

It is an employers market out there! By the time imaginary jobs, impractical jobs, physically impossible jobs, specialty jobs, financially impossible jobs, etc. are taken into account, there just are not that many jobs.

Human beings have innate needs for survival, security, respectability, self-esteem, accomplishment, and (yes) even self-expression. There is no one who does not want to earn a good living, have good health care--and, therefore good health, and have decent housing. I promise.

So, jobbers, I believe that experience is the best teacher. In fact, I believe it is the only teacher! And, Jobbers, because I love you soooooooooo much and want you to become informed, knowledgeable, wise and compassionate, I am hoping that you all lose your jobs!!!

Then YOU strong and hardy people (Why do  Repubs believe they are the only strong and hardy folks who chop down trees, hunt squirrels, eat deer, scavenge for food, shoot their neighbors, build their own roads & schools & septic systems and are simultaneously rich and successful) ... whoa!

Back on track. OK, you Republican Jobbers who know exactly how to do everything perfectly, how to plan your lives so that you never need help, how to find a $300,000 job in a day--or how to live like a millionaire on $8.00/hour can show the rest of us poor slobs how it's done!

Jobbers, I so hope I haven't hurt your feelings! Don't just shout, "Get a job!" at me, hire me! You won't be sorry! Yes, offer me a job! Oh, I love you so very much!

Your friend,

Vivian


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