Dear Theocrats

Dear Theocrats,

Dear Theocrats. Darling Theocrats. I love you! I really, really do. Even when you are at your most bonkers. Why, then I love you most.

No, don't be silly. I am not talking to Iran! I know very few Persians. And, the ones I know are very reasonable and are certainly not Theocrats. Really, you have to learn to think! Get out more. Your bubble is too tight. You're suffocating in there.

I am talking to American Fundamentalists, Evangelicals, Conservative Catholics & Protestants, and Republicans who are relentless in their efforts to control women. And, of course I love you! Many of my best friends are AFECCPR's! I know you very well! You are wonderful friends to each other and those you know and love! (Pronounced afe sippers)

It is your attitude toward WOMEN and EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOUR CLUB that bothers me.

Did I mention your attitudes toward WOMEN? Even though a little over half of you are WOMEN? Your daughters are women, or will be when they are 21 years old. Your mothers are women. Really, all of your females are women. What are you thinking?

Oh, and I know that there is a difference between YOU - the ordinary small town church going sincerely believing does not have a trust fund and has never met one of the 1% nor has never sat on the board of directors of a multi-national corporation and never been hunting with Dick Cheney and the KOCH BROTHERS REPUBLICANS WITH TRUST FUNDS WHO WENT TO ELITE SCHOOLS RULE THE WORLD AND ARE ONLY PRETENDING TO BELIEVE - the KBRWT...'s

Oh, let's simplify this. Let's call the average person who makes less that a fortune and who is a true believer... hmmm... a True Believer! And, let's call people who are richer than God, went to fancy private schools, who have real power and real $$$$, and who secretly believe in science and evolution and climate change and... hmm... the Rich Manipulators!?! OK?

So, we know why the Rich Manipulators declare War on Women - don't we? Are you with me? Well, everything they do in life is about power and money - the only 2 things that count.

Rich Manipulator Republicans declare War on Women because you, my darling True Believers, are a prejudiced lot (and a really angry group, when you think about it!) and Rich Manipulators just love to stir you up! So, they appeal to your prejudices. You are being used.

And, you are their little worker bees! You, the True Believers are the backbone of the Republican Party and you keep the Rich Manipulators in power. You vote. And, vote. And, vote. You proselytize through your churches. You send out email after email and make call after call after call. You have your own TV network. Televangelists. Radio stations. Newspapers. All the while preaching about the mad power of "liberals." I have to admire your messaging. You are masters. The Tea Party is more than a little scary to Rich Manipulators - it is taking on a life of it's own. But, I have faith in money!

But, my dear True Believers who are masters of messaging, why are you so prejudiced against women? Who do you think women are - wild-eyed revolutionaries? What is the source of our power? You make me feel so dangerous! And, both powerful and powerless at the same time.

Oh, right! WE are your mothers and it's PAYBACK!

Ouchie! I can just hear a True Believer mom saying, "Sorry about those spankings! And, the soap in the mouth. And, the lectures. And, the "times out" in the room. And, being grounded. And, the public humiliation. Sorry Daddy got caught with porn. Sorry Daddy had to go to rehab. Sorry Daddy used to beat Mommy. Sorry about the D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Sorry I told you masturbation would cause hair to grow out your nose - I really believed it. I was humiliated when the school nurse called."

So, you hate your mothers - and, your fathers. But, why do you want to grow up to be just like him? Oooohhhh! I get it!

Oh, dear, then we have that little problem with Eve. The power of sex! It's really only that powerful when it's forbidden. Suppressed. Repressed. Secret. Nasty. That is why we have sooooo dang many Newt Gringriches in the right wing world. That and "cheap grace." Wait.  I am getting off topic. What a dangerous gal Eve was. Hmmm... That Adam was quite the... follower... wasn't he? No backbone, eh? That's been eating away at you.

Then there was Jezebel. Wow. Delilah... Double wow. I don't know what book you're reading but I'm seeing another guy with no backbone, here.

Have you really read the Bible? We know what the research says, don't we? It says most of you Theocrats have not read the Bible. You should. You really, really should! It is X-rated!

There are some very practical reasons to declare War on Women. Really, if you subjugate half the population, that eliminates quite a bit of competition. Makes life a bit easier. And, who wouldn't want to rule the roost? Especially those who lack confidence - the banty roosters of the coop.

But, I know you intimately - yes, I do! I know you to be wildly irrational.

Otherwise, I would say, "reconcile your values!" Either you believe in freedom, the constitution, and small government - for EVERYONE! OR, you don't believe in it at all. But... sadly... you are busy today...  protecting the lives of sperm, unfertilized eggs, fertilized eggs that haven't divided yet, fertilized eggs that look like frog eggs about to turn into tad poles...

Today, just for spite, I killed some sperm. Yep, millions of women did. They did the laundry.

No, you do not want women to be the "boss of their own bodies" do you? Now, that is a frightening prospect. Women in control of themselves. Who knows what they might do? Eat what they want? Quit cleaning the house? Go vegetarian? Drink dirty martinis? LNO? The sky's the limit? Birth control? An abortion you don't know about?

It isn't frightening to me because I was born with a sad defect - minding my own business. It's genetic. I was born with a sad lack of interest in other people's affairs. Except for wanting everyone to have health care. And, food. Food is good. Housing, likewise... A few of those concerns.

Oh, Theocrats, I'm still talking to you, did you protect a diabetic today? Did you help an elderly Democrat to cross the street? Did you protect someone with Altzheimer's? Did you donate to some charities.

Or, is it just fetuses you love? We know you do not value the lives of fully sentient death row inmates. And, you just love the flag but don't seem to value the actual lives of our service men and women - as in, "I do not want to send any one to an unnecessary war." Just fetuses? Is it especially other people's fetuses? Because a lot of Theocrats seem to have had abortions. Just wonderin'.

If a room were filled with some frog eggy looking items in a petrie dish and someone you love with Parkinson's Disease, and it were on fire, I hope you would follow through on your beliefs and would save the petrie dishes of fertilized eggs and let Uncle Harry with Parkinson's die. You cannot have any fetuses dying.

And, of course you do lack imagination: What if? What if your daugther had just found out she had cancer and was pg? Not abortion for her. Or, your wife were accidentally pregnant and in a severe diabetic crisis. Too bad. Or, your sister had taken a dangerous medication while unknowingly pregnant. Tough luck.

You, being a True Believer and rigid thinker, are unaware of the 1,000's of medical conditions that women need gynecological care for - sometimes from birth - until they die. You are unaware of the many conditions that women take birth control pills for besides birth control. Mitt Romney seems unaware that gynecological care is so expensive that just choosing your own is not an option.

And, you don't care a lot about tit for tat, do you. As in, "If my reproductive organs get no medical treatment, neither do yours." So, no testicular cancer screening, no Viagra, no penile implants, etc. for men? Not worried?

Oh, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but did you know that birth control is less expensive to society than rearing a child? Not to mention less expensive to a family!

[Did you know that if we do not provide free health care to someone with a serious deteriorating illness, that eventually that person will deteriorate, become permanently and totally disabled and qualify for Medical Assistance anyway? In some cases, that person could have been working and paying taxes all that time. Just sayin'.]


The basic and underlying problem is the cost of health care and the fact that women require gynecological care their entire adult lives. And, this care is none of anyone else's business except that woman's and her doctor. Perhaps that is the frightening fact.

Now, why don't  you True Believers and Rich Manipulators want women to get health care? Well, Rich Manipulators WHO OWN EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (insurance companies, hospital corporations, clinics, and...) don't want to pay for it? C'est possible. Then, they persuade True Believers that RELIGIOUS FREEDOM is being violated. and True Believers go bonkers - as, I am sorry to say, you do very frequently.

Rich Manipulators manage to persuade True Believers that doctors, pharmacists, nurses, P.A.'s (who should be required as part of their professional ethics to provide medical care to every patient they see according to THAT patient's religion and NOT their own religion) that it is they who are being discriminated against and not in fact the patient - so  that they will vote Republican.


Rich Manipulators persuade True Believers that the most important issue in Western Civilization is abortion rights so that they go bonkers will forget about the massive cost of Iraq and Afghanistan in lives and money so that they will vote Republican.


Oh, I love True Believers so much! I don't think I personally know any Rich Manipulators. I don't think I personally know any of the 1%. I would love to - I really, really would.

With much love.

Your friend,

Vivian