Dear Tea People, Baggers (oh, the images that calls to mind), Partiers, Drinkers...,Whatever You Want to Be Called--And Village Idiots in Gerneral:
I love you phantasmagorically! I have been called to love the unloved. The unlovable. The silly. The ridiculous. I simply adore Village Idiots! Why some of my best friends are Village Idiots.
Most important of all. I have been called to love those whose parents did not love them and provide them with adequate parenting as a child. I am so sorry about your lack of parenting. So very sorry!
I am especially sorry for those of you whose parents did not teach you right from wrong, Scotty. I am so sorry for those of you (are you listening, Scotty?) whose parents did not teach you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth--are still with me...Scotty?
My heart is filled with sorrow--and, I am not being facetious--for those of you who grew up in "Christian" households without a deep and abiding need & craving to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and care for widows and orphans. Does this evoke any memories...Scotty?
"Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." Matthew 25:45
Scotty! Whatever you did NOT do for others is the same as failing to do it for Christ. And, whatever you do to or for others is the same as doing to or for Christ. That is one scary verse. I digress.
But, that is why I am here! I am here to parent you, to mother you, to teach you right from wrong! No need to thank me--as I said, it is my calling.
Were I you (and thank the Wood Nymphs, I am not) I would consider suing my parents. Parents have one job and one job only: to see that their children do NOT grow up to be the VILLAGE IDIOTS!
Of course they should refrain from abusing anyone or any substances and should nurture their children as the invaluable gift from the Goddess that they are.
But, Holy Pomona, why did your parents let you--Scotty and your Tea Friends--grow up to make abject fools of yourselves every stinking day every where you go?
Lesson Number 1. You are NOT NORMAL. We can SEE you. Everyone can SEE you. Every day. Every where. In fact, we can see right through you.
You are NOT NORMAL in every sense of the word. You are NOT AVERAGE. You bear no resemblance to the average person sitting in an average booth next to you at an average restaurant in an average town.
To spell it out: Normal people do not lie, cheat, wear crazy hats with tea bags hanging from them, engage in anonymous dirty tricks, have "troll" accounts on Facebook, and they certainly don't have Legal Defense Funds!
Normal people also have something called a "conscience." Yes, I know you are conscious--maybe. This is different.
You are off the charts NOT NORMAL. I am telling you this for FREE! OK, maybe I will send a bill. Scotty, your Legal Defense Fund can pay. Only $200.00/hour. Get help today. I love you, This proves it.
Your parents did not love you!
Lesson Number 2. You are stupid and ill informed. Good parents do not let their kids grow up to marry cowboys or be stupid and ill informed. NO good parent wants the VILLAGE IDIOT for a child--for everyone's sake--the Idiot's, the parent's, and certainly it isn't in the best interest of the village.
Have you ever watched international television? Ever watched anything besides Fox? Everyone in the USA & the civilized--and uncivilized world--is laughing at you! Did you know that sheep herders in the Middle East watch international TV at coffee shops when they are in town? They are rolling on the floors of coffee shops laughing at Scott Walker and Tea Baggers. The part about rolling on the floor was a lie. See, I walk the walk! No, didn't think so.
[I am very fortunate to be able to travel some. When people ask where we are from, my husband (oh, craven man) says Canada. I cannot lie without getting a tic in my right eye. Everyone everywhere asks us what is wrong with you people and I am sick of trying to explain the inexplicable and apologizing! Walker, if for no other reason you have to go so I can travel in peace.]
Walker and Tea Party: Have you ever read a...wait for it...a book that wasn't written by a propagandist? No, didn't think so. Scotty, are you literate? That isn't why you had to leave college is it?
Scotty and Tea Party: People the world over are watching the USA in wonder! They wonder how and why, in the 21st century, we still have people who don't "believe" in science--as though science is a religion, in evolution, global climate change, or Hawaiian Birth Certification.
Soon, your children won't be able to read the directions on their hand gun boxes they will be so under educated. Or, their automatic weapons boxes. Or their shoulder launching rockets instructions...or
Soon...Holy Mars...we won't be able to go to war because we will no longer have a science and technological class in the USA.
Soon, we won't have any astrophysicists--because...uh...you know why. We won't have any biologists because, well you know what one of the underpinning theories of biology is...don't you?
I'm just messin' with you! Your leaders--the super rich people (think Koch brothers) who rock your world and provide the money just tell you what you want to hear so you will keep on voting in their best interests. You don't honestly think that the good people at Exxon-Mobile don't believe in science do you? Really. Think...oil?
Where was I?
Well, I just wanted to let you know that if your parents had really loved you, they would have bought you and encyclopedia--or today a really good computer, a good dictionary and taught you some good old skepticism. You would have read the newspaper every day and watched real news at least once a day. So you wouldn't grow up to be the VILLAGE IDIOT.
They would have seen that you graduated from college if that meant they had to move into your dorm room with you and gone to your classes with you. If your parents had loved you, you would not already have been in trouble by your freshman year of college...Scotty.
If your parents had really loved you, they would have taught you that going to church was worthless if you didn't walk the walk.
You would have been required to "work your own program" (that means examine your own conscience and behavior) and refrain from judging others.
Hmmmm...you would not need a Legal Defense Fund.
Oh, good parents watch the company their children keep, Scotty. Yours should not have allowed you to play with narrow minded bigots who dress poorly. My goodness! Parents who love their children just do not let them wear weird hats in public!
Good parents do not let their children do strange sneaky things. No, that is normal. I am talking about doing strange mean hostile sneaky things. Normal people are not "trolls" and any loving parent would die of shame.
Normal people do not use any Nazi imagery for any self-serving political reason what-so-ever. Normal people fight political battles on the issues. Shame on your parents for not teaching you about this.
But, I love you with my whole heart! I want to help you, to teach you, to mother you. So, read 1 Corinthian 13. In fact, since I believe that most of you profess to belong to the Christian faith, just go ahead and read the entire Gospel! Then, practice it!
So, now democrats, Democrats, greens, Greens, recovered Republicans, Republicans against Walker, liberals, progressives, true Conservatives and folks who have never before voted--all people who love the great state of Wisconsin: vote for BARRETT & MITCHELL on June 5! You can register and vote on the same day. You need proof of residence if registering but you do not need a photo ID for this election!
I love you one and all. I really, really do! Hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.
And, I love the great state of Wisconsin!
Your friend,
Vivian
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