You are, perhaps, the people who I think about more than anyone else.
“Why oh why isn’t your heart bleeding?” I cry out when I can’t sleep -- for the hungry, those who are not able to go the doctor, those who are sleeping in their cars, those who never considered college because they have never met a college graduate outside of school or church. “Why?” I rage.
When I am in conflict with someone who refuses to see my point of view -- even though I endeavor mightily to see h/ers, I scream inside, “What is wrong with the human race?” How does anyone ever get along?
Well, I won’t even go into the Holocaust or the horrendous tragedies in Africa and what those say about human nature.
So, of course, I went to Facebook for answers!
Vivian:
There is a possibility that I have been over estimating human nature and ordinary people are even worse than I thought. More lacking in empathy. Less compassionate. Less committed to relationships. Less capable of caring. I thought I was fairly cynical, but I think I may need to lower my standards. Just how sucky are people? Really.
Sandra Don`t let them get to you Viv...the good out-number the sucky...
Becky Actually, most people are pretty alright, it's just we all have sucky moments and those are the people and encounters we remember.
Janet I'm with this "marty" person: most people suck. at least that's
been my experience over the last 40 years. i'm sure in part due to the
fact that i'm an empath so i tend to see and feel all the sucky parts of people that most people don't.
Steven These are differing evils, but they are common works of man. They reflect the imperfection of human justice, the inadequacy of human compassion, our lack of sensibility toward the sufferings of our fellows. RFK
Dorothy To answer, pretty damn sucky. Compassion is in short supply. Those of us who understand the discipline needed to have empathy are feeling tired of pulling the load for others. But what is the alternative? I've turned away from the "sucky people" for now in order to recharge my discipline. Amazing when one 'turns away' how our true allies in compassion seem to *show* themselves. We're here for you too. Some of us have just 'gone fishin' for a bit. Don't lower your standards - raise them!!! ♥ ya Vivian!
Leslie Ann i think i knew i loved marty when he said ... "most people suck." he's right, they do, and under certain circumstances that list includes both him and i. we just try to stay off the list, more than on.
Barbara Some people really are sucky but I think we start out expecting a lot without knowing the capabilities of a person. Sometimes we get too close, too quickly and we get disappointed. Don't give up hope on mankind. There are some great people out there. You are one of them!!!
So, my friends answered my questions and I saw myself in their answers! There I was!
I see love and empathy as requiring discipline and I work at it. So, I am frustrated when others don’t -- and indulge their most base instincts. Or, actually form entire political parties and major policies based on a “dog eat dog” view of the world.
I am idealistic. I have very high expectations -- even from people who do not have the capacities to meet my expectation. Their needs were never met; they never had role models; no one ever set standards or expectations for them. And, many people, including our politicians, have never been outside their “bubble of privilege.”
Some time ago, a friend stopped speaking to me and would not tell me why. A couple of years later she asked my forgiveness and we reconciled with no real explanation. Our friendship fell apart again. What I will do next time: forgive and decline to become friends again with such a person. Neither of us had learned anything. I had not learned to be a good judge of character. She had not to be non-judgmental.
Both learning to have good judgement and learning to be non-judgmental are necessary personally and politically.
I forget that human potential includes incredible potential for evil as well as for good. We all have human frailties. It is up to those of us with the highest of ideals to work for good.
I have the tendency to see people who do something “sucky” as a “sucky” person rather than a person who had a bad moment. At my very worst, I am a horrible person! If someone judged me on my worst behavior -- EIYEEEEEE! I wouldn’t have a single friend. Discernment!
Oh, I am narrow-minded and judgmental. I am open-minded about LGBTQ people, other cultures, races, religions, etc. But, I don’t like those who are parochial, prejudiced, ignorant -- all part of the human condition and often amenable to education. Then, my face tightens, my nose raises, my eyes turn steeley. I become, as my daughter says, “Judgemental about judgementalism.”
I am working on being loving and compassionate. I am a work in progress.
I invite everyone to join me in developing the highest value -- unconditional love and the ability to truly put oneself in someone else’s place.
Your Friend,
Vivian
