DEAR PARENTS

Dear Parents: Freud blamed you and I do, too.

Wednesday night at dinner, I was shocked by the little family sitting next to us: two older adults and an young boy around seven. They were older and I assumed that they were the grandparents.

The woman sat next to the child. The man sat across from the woman. The woman was attentive without being overly so and the child was quiet and well-behaved.

The man did not look at nor speak to the child the entire meal. That is what grabbed my attention.

Later, the woman asked the boy to, "Give Daddy a bite." Was he really really really the father!?! Did I hear that correctly? 

Then, the next day I am in line at a store. The woman in front of me has a toddler that I cannot see. She is asking the child, "Do you want your doll? Do you want the lady to hand you your doll?" The clerk hands over the doll and the toddler reaches for it. The child is a boy -- unless it is a girl whose every item of clothing is "boy's." This mother just bought her boy a doll! Halleluyah! 

We have inspected every single bit of sexism in child-rearing. But, this wasn't words or theory. This was a picture.

We tell boys in no uncertain words -- and, in full color pictures -- that they do not take care of children. Are not responsible for children. Do not attend to children. Do not even need to look at or speak to their children. Or, listen.

Every time we say, "Boys do not play with dolls," "Dolls are sissy toys," "Boys don't play house," "Don't be a sissy," we are telling them that they don't need to pay attention to children or care for them.

Go buy all the boys in your life a doll. Now! Get out the door.

BTW, I have never met a mother who doesn't know how old her children are nor what grade they are in. But, I have interviewed men who don't know their children's ages nor their grade in school.

So, go already! Buy those dolls!

Love, 
VLL