DEAR PARENTS

Dear Parents: Freud blamed you and I do, too.

Wednesday night at dinner, I was shocked by the little family sitting next to us: two older adults and an young boy around seven. They were older and I assumed that they were the grandparents.

The woman sat next to the child. The man sat across from the woman. The woman was attentive without being overly so and the child was quiet and well-behaved.

The man did not look at nor speak to the child the entire meal. That is what grabbed my attention.

Later, the woman asked the boy to, "Give Daddy a bite." Was he really really really the father!?! Did I hear that correctly? 

Then, the next day I am in line at a store. The woman in front of me has a toddler that I cannot see. She is asking the child, "Do you want your doll? Do you want the lady to hand you your doll?" The clerk hands over the doll and the toddler reaches for it. The child is a boy -- unless it is a girl whose every item of clothing is "boy's." This mother just bought her boy a doll! Halleluyah! 

We have inspected every single bit of sexism in child-rearing. But, this wasn't words or theory. This was a picture.

We tell boys in no uncertain words -- and, in full color pictures -- that they do not take care of children. Are not responsible for children. Do not attend to children. Do not even need to look at or speak to their children. Or, listen.

Every time we say, "Boys do not play with dolls," "Dolls are sissy toys," "Boys don't play house," "Don't be a sissy," we are telling them that they don't need to pay attention to children or care for them.

Go buy all the boys in your life a doll. Now! Get out the door.

BTW, I have never met a mother who doesn't know how old her children are nor what grade they are in. But, I have interviewed men who don't know their children's ages nor their grade in school.

So, go already! Buy those dolls!

Love, 
VLL

DEAR SISTERS!

My Dear Sisters:

Here is what we have.

We have predominantly white men in charge of our country at the local, state, and national level and in every branch of government.

These men are controlling our lives through legislation and policy as well as through academia and their professional lives and works. And, they are shockingly ignorant and hateful toward women.

They reveal continuously, in public, that they lack even the most basic knowledge of women, anatomy and physiology, basic reproduction, birth control, abortion, psychology, etc.

And, they reveal their complete lack of empathy and their utter disregard for the welfare of their wives, mothers, sisters, daughters.

This level of disregard amounts to hatred.

Are we so accustomed to this that it has become invisible to us? Don't let that happen.

Let’s correct the record.

No, birth control is not abortion. Perhaps this has been a talking point within the Catholic Church to discourage birth control. But, millions of women are not Catholic, don’t want to follow the religion of our lawmakers, and don’t want a Supreme Court Justice this ignorant and biased.

Brett Kavanaugh Refers To Birth Control As 'Abortion-Inducing Drugs' At Confirmation Hearing – this week. NYT

And, no, the female body does not have a way of “shutting that whole thing down” in the case of rape as Todd Akin professed. Women – and girls – get pregnant from rape. Republican men and women elected a man this ignorant and vile to a position of power over women. 

19 August 2012, U.S. Representative Todd Akin (R) of Missouri

Nope. There is no such thing as "legitimate" and "illegitimate" rape.

Republican Akin didn’t give up! “Two years later, while appearing in another television interview with MSNBC to promote his new book Firing Back, Akin asserted that “legitimate rape” was a law enforcement term and that his original remark had been “intentionally misunderstood.” No, it isn’t a law enforcement term.

No, women cannot relax and enjoy rape. Rape is brutal. Internal and external organs are ripped and damaged, their hair is pulled out, they are beaten and bruised, and they are sometimes raped by pipes, brooms, etc. Imagine a man having a broomstick forced up his anus or down his throat while being beaten. Can you hear us now?
“Rape is kinda like the weather. If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it.” (Clayton Williams, GOP nominee, TX, 1991)

No, women don't usually feel this way, Mr. Santorum. 

“Santorum responded by saying that although a pregnancy resulting from a rape might be “horrible,” it was nonetheless a “gift of human life” and that “we have to make the best out of a bad situation.” 

Does any woman alive believe that “God intended” for her to get pregnant from rape? No.

“Even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

23 October 2012, Richard Mourdock (R)  

No, women do not “get cleaned out” by rape kits. Even women can be shockingly ignorant or willing to go to disgusting lengths to promote her view:
“In the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits, where a woman can get cleaned out.”

23 June 2013, Jodie Laubenberg, Republican of TX

No. No one ever has a right to use his -- or her -- superior strength to harm another human being. This makes me think someone should have done a background check of Rep Lockman.

“If a woman has (the right to an abortion), why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t (in most cases) result in anyone’s death.”

February 2014, Lawrence Lockman, Maine

I think women might be forgiven for engaging in "identity politics," or a little misandry. 

Not feeling the love today, 

VLL

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/personal-foul/

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/07/health/kavanaugh-abortion-inducing-contraceptives.html

DEAR VIPP'S AND VRD'S

Dear Political Parties and...

VIPP's (Very Important Political People) & VRD's (Very Rich Donor's):

I love you to pieces! I don't know you, but I sure know who you are. What's not to love!?! 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for thinking for me! For choosing my candidates and making all political decisions for us women! I appreciate that you let me know who you are choosing for me! Thank you so very much for suppressing the candidates that women want to run! What would happen to the world order if our choices were taken into account?!? You are really looking our for us, in spite of what people say. 

Hmmmm... I know that you know that women have uhhhh ... uteri. Oh, wait, I am not sure that you realize that we have uteri -- based on comments by politicians. We do have uteri.

[Thank you for looking out for our reproductive care! You are looking out for us, aren't you? Do you know what reproductive care is? Did you know that we have uteri? Can you define Fallopian tube?]

And, yes, we are awash in female hormones. We are prone to hysteria and tend to vote only for attractive men -- so you better watch out. JK. We are unable to think straight because of throbbing ... hormones. 

We would be lost without you and your firm guidance and sage-like wisdom!

Thank you so much for allowing me to get an education - in spite of being female! To become a professional - in spite of my hormones! To earn a living - in spite of fits of hysteria! To travel the world - in spite of my fragility! To pay taxes. To have a retirement plan! And, to get rich off Social Security - in spite of just being the little lady! I love cat food, BTW.

I am buying stock in Purina, BTW!

Oh, wait. I am female. A woman. A girl. A daughter, sister, mother, aunt.

And, who do you choose for me to vote for? Men! Men who do not have a history of treating women well.

But, I've got big news:  Women have the right to vote in the USA! Wow. You didn't know, did you?

Yes: The 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution granted American women the right to vote, a right known as women's suffrage, and was ratified on August 18, 1920, ending almost a century of protest.

In two years, we will be celebrating 400 years of suffrage! No... 200? No, we have only had the right to vote for 98 years this August 18. 

And, that makes me furious. So, did you know that some of us "spite vote?" Yes, we vote just to prove that we can! 

My grandmothers and all of my great aunts and all of my matriarchs were born without the right to vote. But, they still ran farms and businesses or went out and got jobs when widowed - or, God forbid, when divorced. Or... they took jobs as poor women have always done. 

They followed the laws of the land.

They still paid taxes. 

They still paid taxes! Taxation without representation. They couldn't vote but they weren't exempt from paying taxes! Whaaaaa????

I bet that, in spite of what the polls say, there are lots of Republican women who are disgusted with the candidate that VIPP's and VRD's graciously chose for them.

I am disgusted with elected Democrats, VIPP's and VRD's choosing candidates for voters at all. By the time they add their money, their power, their influence... Did I mention money & power & influence? 

Your system has motivated many hysterical, misguided, ill-informed women who are drunk on estrogen to run for office.

Well, women, we better get to the polls and vote for these #WonderWomen who are #RunningAndWinning

A record number of women are running for office this year - and, winning! Running and winning. I like the sound of that.

Have our illustrious overwhelmingly male political leaders failed to notice that over half the population is women? 

We vote. We donate money. We volunteer in droves.

The majority of volunteers on every campaign is women.

So, watch out. We are #RunningandWinning. 

Voting in Spite Forever Yours,

Viviain LL

DEMS WHO ACT JUST LIKE TRUMP

Dear Trolls,

 Anonymous trolls. Bots. Fake accounts. And, real people who troll in their own names! People with jobs. Families. Friends.

How do they ever make and keep friends? How did they ever find a partner? Maybe they make a pact to hate the same people? What if one troll hates someone and the other troll friend loves that person? Do they get a troll divorce. Ah, who cares...

So, the Silly Season is here and has been for a year. That is Election Season. When best friends stop speaking to you because they don't like who you supported in a Primary Election. When you finally realized that most of those folks that you thought were friends were merely "connections." And, you appreciate your true friends even more.

But, it is also Troll Season. Icky.

Last week, it occurred to me that trolls remind me of Donald Trump. They lie. They twist & degrade every single thing that their target says. And, they lie. And, they lie. And, then lie some more. With no shame whatsoever. If you have a different opinion, they call you a liar. They call misunderstandings lies. They call demonstrable facts lies. Just like #45!

And, I suspect that they believe their own lies. Just as #45 does. They don't know that they are lying. They really really don't. 

They have no shame! They are never embarrassed. This is the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed. They have no self-awareness and hence no pride and hence no shame. Just like #45. None. This is astounding to me.

How could you not know that no one thinks you're cool? No one believes a word that you say? That you are making a complete ass of yourself every day! Just like #45.

Were trolls the playground bullies or were they the shy kids who got bullied and now have "keyboard courage?"  I suspect that they are scared little rabbits IRL.

I have met 2 trolls. One of them trolled under his real name and under some fake accounts. He made a technological mistake that enable me to see/prove that he was the troll. He glowed when accused of trolling. He appeared delighted while also denying it -- even though it was provable. 

The other appeared terrified when I walked up and introduced myself. He sat quietly and shyly at a table all night. No mixing and mingling. But, on-line? He is a rattlesnake. Not a very good writer. Not very witty. Not very literate. But nasty in the "na na nuh boo boo" way from grade school. A lot like #45! He also writes, "OMG!" a lot!

They are relentless. They win every argument because they count on being the meanest SOB at the keyboard. And, they lie. Just like #45. Do they ever clean the house or go fishing or have dinner with a friend?

They love drama! Love it! Just like #45! 

And, they must be filled with hate. They must be really icky inside. Just like #45.

What is the purpose of all of this? 

Bullies feel good about themselves. They like bullying. They enjoy it. They were often the victim of a "bully" parent and now they believe that they have power. POWER! They may have the strategic goal of stopping/limiting participation in some group or forum -- Most people won't speak up if 5 trolls are going to jump in and make fun of them then call them liars.

So, do not be deterred and do not feed the trolls.

I tried to say, "Dear Trolls, I love you! I really really do!" But, I spit up a little in my mouth and couldn't get the words out.

I love every one else in the world except narcissists/trolls. Because I suspect those are synonyms.

VLL