Dear Maninazis from Manistan

Dear Men:

Dear dear husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, grandfathers -- all of you! We, the women in your life, love you! We love you just as much as you love us! 

We want you to have everything in life that you have given us. In fact, we want you to receive the identical care and treatment in life that we receive. (If that scares you, we have a problem :-)

That is how much we love you! We think you will learn a lot from this!

So, what if you had everything we do? Oh, I know you just cannot wait! 

What if ... What if... the pope were a woman? The US Senate were 85% women? The US president were a woman?  The US House of Representatives were 80% women? The leaders of EVERY religious organization were women? The leaders of 90% of Fortune 500 companies were women? 

And, if only women were armed: For no particular reason, women just went out and bought a lot of guns and a lot of ammo and went to a lot of gun ranges and... men just did not buy guns.

Oh, but women love men just as much as men love women! So, you have nothing to fear in this scenario. Remember that our fathers, husbands, uncles and sons are male. We just love you do death! You have nothing to fear just because women are in control... of pretty much everything!

(Are you thinking that I am a real bitch about right now and you are lucky that you aren't married to me? Well, you are a little paranoid, aren't you? I told you that I am going to do everything for YOU that you have been doing for women? What's wrong with you? Just relax!)

Back to health care. Women are in control of male health care, too, of course. Which is a good thing. Because we are so compassionate and motherly and care-taking.  Women want men to be healthy. 

But, we just cannot see why tax payers and health insurers have to pay for your slutty ways -- not to mention your violent ways! You have read the stats on rape and violence against women haven't you? Well, get crackin'! I'm not your mother -- look it up! 

Men have gone wild and it is costing us a fortune, destroying the lives of women and destroying the moral fiber of our country!

So, 100 of the world's most powerful women are getting together to make decisions & public pronouncements about YOU and YOUR health care & sexuality -- and they have the power to implement their personal opinions. 

There are no men involved in these decisions for no particular reason -- I hope that doesn't upset you and you are a very persnickity person if it does. In fact, if you object to this, you are a Maninazi from Manistan.

Let's get started. I am one of the world's 100 experts. I said so! Just like Paul Ryan and various others with no particular expertise. Here is the Male Reproductive Health Care & Violence Prevention Plan:

1. "Can't get it up" is no longer a medical diagnosis! "Erectile Dysfunction?" Don't be silly! Just relax! Haven't you heard that anxiety and too much adrenalin play a role  in "failure to perform?" Just "Google" it. You'll find lots of ideas. 

Besides, men should not be having sex before marriage and then should only be having sex in order to conceive children. The Pope said so and She is our guide in all political and health care matters according to Paul Ryan. So, relax! You've got lots of time! To get it up!

2. No female American citizens are going to pay, through taxes or through insurance premiums, for MUTS to be engaging in their immoral promiscuous lifestyles. No doctors exams, either.

And, no insurance, Medicare and Medicaid paying for medication for male sluts -- known as "MUTS" --  to enhance promiscuity. If MUTS want to be  promiscuous, they must pay for it themselves. No testosterone, either.

Remember MUTS,  if God wanted you to have sex, She would give you an erection. If you do not have an erection, this is God telling you not to have sex! Plain and simple. 

[I'm confused! Why are women "sluts" if they use contraception but, I haven't heard Rush call men "sluts" for using "cannot get it up" meds?]

3. Other male reproductive care? For MUTS?  On my dime? I don't think so. Women want parity! We want equality! If we don't get reproductive health care, then men don't get it!

Besides, men wouldn't need reproductive care if they weren't promiscuous. Because, as everyone knows, sexual organs, reproduction and promiscuity are intimately related. So to speak.

4. If slutty men want to have their nasty parts checked for cancer, then let them get jobs and get insurance or pay for it themselves. 

Besides, they wouldn't need to get checked for cancer if they weren't promiscuous or pulling at their privates all the time. (What is that about?) 

We need to get men off the couch, out of the fridge and into the job market! Besides, they don't bear children, so what could they possibly need?

In summary: In this new world of parity, there is no such thing as erectile dysfunction. Insurance, Medicare and MA no longer cover medications for "cannot get it up." Insurance, Medicare & MA don't cover male reproductive care because what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Self respecting men only have sex after they are married according to... Judeo-Christian tradition or Paul Ryan or someone important.  

So, in order to preserve the sanctity of marriage, only women will be able to buy contraceptives. That ought to solve the problem of promiscuous men -- MUTS.  That ought to solve most problems!

I hope Maninazis from Manistan are feeling the love! Just the way women do! 

Ah, of course many men are supportive of women, women's health care, easily available contraception, reproductive health care and choice. And, you need to do everything in your power to improve life for the women in your life. Walk the walk: Vote. Donate. Speak out. Volunteer. Write your Congress Critters. 

With love for all,

Vivian