My Very Dear Republicans

Dear Uihlein Republicans:

I  simply adore Republicans! 

You have so much in common with your leaders, right? Just good old conservative evangelicals taking hot dish casseroles to potlucks, right? Working hard. Playing by the rules. Pulling yourselves up by the boor straps. JK, of course.

But, follow the money and your leaders are the likes of The Uihlein Family. Cha-ching. 

The Uihlein Family is electing your politicians so that makes them your leaders, right? Really, your bosses in a way. Your political priests. Cha-ching.

The current mister earned his way in the world in the same way we all did. Or, not. He inherited it! As a descendant of the Schlitz beer family. 

What a hard job. I just love large privately held corporations, don't you? 

Republicans, you fear the government but have no fear of large corporations and gigantic private wealth? 

So what do The Uihlines have in common with the common person in The Dairy State? I don't have a clue. You?

Anywho.

Who doesn't love Philips Academy? I wanted to go there, didn't you? And, Harvard. Oh, the sexy sound of cha-ching. 

Only 40% of elite college students are legacies, athletes, or children of big donors. They earned it, right? Self-made women and men!

 No, you earned your place in the world. Why follow people who are not as good as yourself? 

But, who doesn't want to play polo? At the Sarasota Polo Club! Yes! And, don't we all want to own a ranch + a polo club + a golf and country club. 

Could you afford to play golf with your leaders? Stay in their hotels? Join their country clubs. Be honest, when was the last time you played polo!?!

How much did you donate to your favorite candidates in this past election cycle? 

The Uihleins spent about $26 million dollars. 
$26 MILLION DOLLARS! 
Not an entire city or even state. ONE FAMILY.

They supported about 60 congressional candidates. They work outside the Republican establishment to advance a rough hard-right agenda from Washington to our smallest towns. 

Look at Manitowish Waters (or Beloit and the ABC family). The Uihlein's have spent millions in MW. Bought up much of the downtown. Threatened to withdraw $300K in planned donations unless a boat ramp was moved to Mrs. U's  choice of locations.

This family is shaping your views whether you know it or not. They own you. And, me. 

They even supported Roy Moore even after he was accused  of sexual misconduct with underage girls. ROY MOORE!?!

Don't you want to follow better leaders? Think for yourself? Get back to old-fashioned values and conservatism?

I hope so.

Because, I do love you,

VLL

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Uihlein_Jr.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Uihlein

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/07/us/politics/liz-dick-uihlein-republican-donors.html

My Very Dear Anti-Abortionists

Friends, 

We can dramatically reduce the incidence of abortion in the US without passing a single abortion ban. 

I am sure that we can all agree that sex > un-planned pregnancy > leads to abortion. Let's intervene productively. 

We have a lot to talk about, so let's prioritize. Let's solve some of the many problems that contribute to abortion and unwanted=unplanned pregnancy. 

We, as a nation and a people, have to have:

+ End the stigma. Churches, families, communities, schools have the capacity to do that today.

That stigma is mightily enforced by religious prohibitions against sexual activity and by religious conventions and mores. 

And, it is unfairly applied. Men can escape the stigma - and, many do. Women cannot. How many women have abortions because of shame.

+ Sex education for everyone. It has to be fairly detailed. Shame free. Easily accessible. 

Churches, families, schools all have the capacity to develop and offer excellent sex education that includes consent.

Just listening to our members of congress speak, it is clear that adults are woefully ignorant about sexuality and sexual health and functioning.

+ We must provide free and easily obtainable birth control. Make vasectomies free. Make tubal ligations free.

+ The US must have health care policies that value the lives of women and children and that are reflected in our health care statistics. Right now the US ranks very high on infant and mother mortality compared to other developed countries. So, show us the love of life.

* The US must have universal health care - Medicare for All.

*We must make Ob/Gyn coverage a requirement of all health insurance policies for women and contraception coverage for men until we have Medicare for All.

* Employer provided health insurance must be required to provide Ob/Gyn coverage for women including contraception and must include contraception for men (vasectomies, condoms, etc) until we have Medicare for All.

* We must fund research into the causes of mother and infant mortality or, it isn't really about "life," is it.

* Our country must provide obstetrical/gynecological care for all women so that they have safety and security for an unplanned pregnancy.

* We must provide nutritional programs for pregnant women and children so that women can afford not to have an abortion.

+ Stop health care professionals from refusing to provide services that are within the scope of their profession so that women can avoid unwanted pregnancy. 

No one should enter a profession if they don't want to provide the services that are within the scope of that profession.

+ Stop the attacks on Planned Parenthood. In fact we should support Planned Parenthood and use it as a model of service provision.

Planned Parenthood prevents more abortions and any anti-abortion rally every could.

+ We have to provide a much better safety net for women. Poverty is now a major factor in the decision to have an abortion. In addition to excellent health care services, in order to reduce abortions, we must:

* Provide housing and transportation assistance

* Make nutritional support available for mothers and children

* Provide job counseling, training, and education aimed at employability and earning living wages

* Make child-care subsidies available

+ Create equality for men and women: Equal responsibilities; equal consequences; equal expectations; etc.

* Hold men responsible immediately. Child/maternal support begins with conception.

* Allow men to put their partner on their health insurance policies and any other benefits that a married couple would have.

+ Dramatically increase the investigations of rape reports, the numbers of arrests, the numbers of prosecutions, and the severity of sentences. 

Rape has ruined the lives of many women. The consequences to the perpetrators needs to be commensurate with the pain and damages to the victims.

+ Again, we must end the stigma. That stigma is mightily enforced by religious prohibitions against sexual activity. And, it is unfairly applied. Men can escape the stigma - and, many do. Women cannot. How many women have abortions because of shame.

I am looking forward to lots of changes in the discussion of abortion!

Love, Vivian

Dear "Pro-Life" Men

My very dear pro-life men: 

I wish you knew how very little I care about your religious beliefs and your inexperienced uneducated opinions.

We should all be utterly gob-smacked that people who know nothing about women and reproductive care are making life altering and life threatening decisions about it!

Here are a few of the reasons that I think these decisions should be between a woman/girl and her health care providers.

* This is a far more complicated issue than most. We are not talking about a 45 vs a 50 mph speed limit. We are talking about people's lives. Their entire lives. Decisions that could affect every day of their lives forever and ever until the day that they die.

* This should never have become a polarized political issue and, it wasn't in the past.

* Does abortion sound like a simple issue to you? Do you ask, "Why not just give the baby up for adoption?" You are sorely lacking in knowledge, empathy, understanding if that is your question. 

* This is a complex issue requiring knowledge/understanding of:

- Obstetrics

- Gynecology 

- Embryology

- Neonatology

- Genetics

- General medicine and 

- The effects of illness and

- The effects of medical treatments on maternal welfare and neonatal health (Effects of treating cancer, diabetes, hypertension, etc)

- Developmental disabilities: What effects will a pregnancy have on a girl with an IQ of 70 or 60? 

- Normal development: What effects will pregnancy have on an 11 y/o, for example?

- Mental illness: Will a mentally ill child, teen, adult be able to care for herself well enough to survive pregnancy without causing permanent harm to the fetus?

In other words, you have no personal experience of having an unwanted unplanned pregnancy or one that is dangerous to your own well being. 

You have no experience of finding out you are pregnant with a severely disabled unlikely to live fetus. You. Not a partner or relative. YOU.

You have no experience being pregnant and having cancer or diabetes or hypertension... and having to take medications that are dangerous to the fetus. 

What about this scenario? You have  never found out that you are impregnated by your father or grandfather, have you?

And, you have never had to wonder if your parents will quit speaking to you and throw you out. Or, if you will be disfellowshipped. Or, if your boyfriend will dump you and disappear. Will anyone marry you with you are 30 with a 15 year old? 

You have never been a pregnant terrified 17 y/o, have you?

Have you wondered how you will survive pregnant or with an infant? How are you going to get a job with no qualifications?  How are you going to pay your rent and what if you are physically unable to work? Where you will live?  Or... how you will even afford prenatal vitamins? 

So...

* After you have informed yourself on the various health and mental health issues -- a few books ought to do it, and 

* After you have adopted a couple of children -- two ought to do it, and 

* After you have researched all of the lies and propaganda from the "pro-life" movement and are able to distinguish the truth from disinformation, and

* After you have read the history of abortion, and

* After you have adopted true "pro-life" positions on social welfare, the death penalty, war, etc. then, I will respect your beliefs that life begins when an egg is fertilized but will not accept that you have the right to make these decisions for me.

But, I do love you from the bottom of my heart.

VLL 

DEAR REPUBLICANS: WHAT NEXT? BRAIN SURGERY?

Dear Republicans:

You want to make major reproductive decisions for women? What next? Treating cancer? Brain surgery as a hobby?

Dudes, I love you but you are not my doctor. Nor my husband. Nor the father of my child. Nor my father nor brother nor best friend. You don't pay my bills. You are not my doctor. 

#YouAreNotMyDoctor

And... Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings or embarrass you, but you don't know shit about women. Or, reproduction. Or, children. Or, science. Or, medicine. Or, psychology. Or... anything but bringing in the bucks.
Dear Republicans:

You men are making major life decisions for women/girls on matters that you know nothing about and have no experience of. We are so accustomed to this that we don't even notice it!

+ Men have never menstruated. Wha?

+ Men have never been pregnant. Really?

+ Men have never given birth. Of course not. This explains a lot. 

+ Many men have never had responsibility for a child. As  women everywhere know.

+ For centuries, unmarried fatherhood did not disgrace nor even inconvenience men while it ruined a girl's life. Not even inconvenienced. 

+ Many/most men have never even read a book about reproduction, pregnancy, or child-birth! Can men read?

+ [Many men have never read a book about female sexual response but that is another story for another day. This is obvious to everyone except men.]

+ I would guess that many men have never visited the doctor with a woman. They are certainly not in the waiting rooms.

+ I would bet that many/most men have never been to the OB/GYN with their partners. Except for the delivery room of course. Are they there willingly?

+ Are there any men who could identify all the "parts" of the reproductive organs on a graphic? Can they identify the parts on a living woman? 

+ Are there any men who could name 5 - 10 methods of contraception? I've got money riding on this.

+ Has any man every asked his partner if she uses BC? Has any man ever asked to see the pill pack? 

+ How many men always use BC themselves? I heard that there was one in Canton, Ohio but I didn't verify.

+ Could any men name 5 medical conditions that are treated with BC pills? I only got 5. Can you name 5? Nah.

We are so used to this that we don't even question it. This is social/emotional wallpaper. The status quo.

Men and women lead very separate lives and don't even know it.

Women and men who support our rights: "Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will." (Frederick Douglass)

May I make some suggestions? 


1.  Donate to causes that support women's rights:

- Planned Parenthood: 

 https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-involved/other-ways-give


- Naral Pro-Choice America
https://actnow.prochoiceamerica.org/donate/supportnaral/#.XOCA6MhKjIU


- NOW
http://www.nowmadison.org/



2. Educate! Educate! Educate! Everyone around you including the men in your life.


3. Take action in any and every way possible.

- Write the usual letters, yada yada yada

- Protest, march, rally, 

4. Enlist your fathers, husbands, BF's, sons, brothers, cousins... in our fight. 


Women, let's love ourselves and demand our rights.

Vivian LL

DEAREST GENTLEMEN

Dearest Men:

I know. I know. You know everything! You have been very lucky in that. Lucky to be born the privileged gender and that comes with the capacity to know absolutely everything about everything and everyone and to use your microphone.

I worship your superior height, muscle mass, intelligence, knowledge, expertise... Well, I just adore men!

Isn't it a miracle that you know more about family planning, pregnancy, childbirth, obstetrics, gynecology, mental health, pediatrics... well... really everything in the world than all the experts and all those with direct personal real experience!

What a miracle!
Seriously, now, I am enraged.

The abortion discussion is dominated by:

> Men

> People who have no knowledge or experience whatsoever of reproductive health, obstetrics, gynecology, etc.

> Men who have no personal experience whatsoever of these issues

> Men who are sadly misinformed or maliciously sharing disinformation

From the beginning of time:

> Adam ate the apple; Eve got the blame.

> Women have been totally responsible for saying, "No."

> Women are totally responsible for keeping themselves from getting pregnant

> Many women are totally responsible for their children.

> It is a woman's life that is ruined if she gets pregnant when

+ She is too young

+ She is too poor

+ She is uneducated

+ She has too many other children

+ She has too many other responsibilities

+ She would rather be dead than pregnant

> It is women who pay the price for unplanned pregnancy even though we do not get pregnant alone

+ She has been the subject of such pity, censure, criticism, etc that many women would rather be dead

+ She is the one who has to endure a hated pregnancy

+ She, in the past, is the one who had to go away, have a baby at a "home," and give it away in adoption

+ She is the 11 y/o or 14 y/o who doesn't even understand what is happening to her body

+ She is the mentally ill woman or girl who cannot comprehend being pregnant or raise a baby

+ She is the developmentally disabled girl or woman who doesn't have a clue that her uncle, or father or brother impregnated her.

+ She is the victim of sexual assault who will wonder all of her life about the genetics of the child that she has carried

> It is a woman's body that experiences pregnancy and childbirth whether or not

+ She has adequate nutrition

+ She has adequate shelter

+ She is in good health

+ She has any medical care

+ She is living in a war zone, a drought, a flood, a famine...

It is her rights that are prioritized last by anti-abortion laws. It is women who are harmed.

Women have carried all the responsibility and have had no power whatsoever.

With all love, I say: Gentlemen, sit down and shut up.

Love, VLL

DEAR MEN WHO ARE EXPERTS IN EVERYTHING

Dearest Men:

I know. I know. You know everything! You have been very lucky in that. Lucky to be born the privileged gender and that comes with the capacity to know absolutely everything about everything and everyone and to use your microphone.

I worship your superior height, muscle mass, intelligence, knowledge, expertise... Well, I just adore men!

Isn't it a miracle that you know more about family planning, pregnancy, childbirth, obstetrics, gynecology, mental health, pediatrics... well... really everything in the world than all the experts and all those with direct personal real experience!

What a miracle! Seriously, now, I am enraged.

The abortion discussion is dominated by:

> Men

> People who have no knowledge or experience whatsoever of reproductive health, obstetrics, gynecology, etc.

> Men who have no personal experience whatsoever of these issues

> Men who are sadly misinformed or maliciously sharing disinformation

From the beginning of time:

> Adam ate the apple; Eve got the blame.

> Women have been totally responsible for saying, "No."

> Women are totally responsible for keeping themselves from getting pregnant

> Many women are totally responsible for their children.

> It is a woman's life that is ruined if she gets pregnant when

+ She is too young

+ She is too poor

+ She is uneducated

+ She has too many other children

+ She has too many other responsibilities

+ She would rather be dead than pregnant

> It is women who pay the price for unplanned pregnancy even though we do not get pregnant alone

+ She has been the subject of such pity, censure, criticism, etc that many women would rather be dead

+ She is the one who has to endure a hated pregnancy

+ She, in the past, is the one who had to go away, have a baby at a "home," and give it away in adoption

+ She is the 11 y/o or 14 y/o who doesn't even understand what is happening to her body

+ She is the mentally ill woman or girl who cannot comprehend being pregnant or raise a baby

+ She is the developmentally disabled girl or woman who doesn't have a clue that her uncle, or father or brother impregnated her.

+ She is the victim of sexual assault who will wonder all of her life about the genetics of the child that she has carried

> It is a woman's body that experiences pregnancy and childbirth whether or not

+ She has adequate nutrition

+ She has adequate shelter

+ She is in good health

+ She has any medical care

+ She is living in a war zone, a drought, a flood

It is her rights that are prioritized last by anti-abortion laws.

Women have carried all the responsibility and have had no power whatsoever.

With all love, I say: Gentlemen, sit down and shut up.

Love, VLL

Dear Travel Snobs

Dear Snobs:

I know. You are worried because here I am writing about something apolitical. Maybe I had a stroke in my sleep that reset my brain to more pleasant topics. Did I say pleasant?

Yes, I know. You went on a 5 day luxury tour of XYZ country and you think I am a barbarian for craving ice, cheap booze, toilets that I understand, and great hunks of affordable beef? You would never eat a hamburger in Europe, you say with haughty assurance. Or, perhaps you read a travel article in the paper that disagrees with my experience last week? Oh, well.

Ha. I have suffered. Suffered, I tell you.

 The older I get, the less that I like "travel." I want vacations! Nice vacations. I don't want to have to walk 10 miles because I got lost. I want to walk one mile for exercise. In a tropical paradise. With a margarita in hand.

Here is budget travel in a nutshell: I have slept on trains, planes, and in automobiles; slept on ferry decks -- right on the wooden floor; slept in train stations on benches. Slept at rest areas. 

I have been lost everywhere; been unable to figure out how to use a telephone -- numbers of times; driven down streets that were so narrow I was in danger of losing the side mirrors of a small car; taken a ferry to an isolated spot and realized there was no return ferry; eaten brains by accident; accidentally gotten in line to board a ferry going God only knows where and had to drive over the barriers to get out of said line... 

I have peed in parking lots, by the side of the road, in national parks, clean restrooms, dirty restrooms... I have used men's restrooms. And, I have gone poo-poo in public toilets at night that no lighting! None! I had to guess if my waste products were going in the toilet or landing on the floor. 

This is a good place to say that I am a country girl who grew up to be a woman with a weak bladder. I will pee anywhere. My husband is a city boy. He can hardly bear to use the bathroom in any public area. Me peeing in a parking lot almost killed him. He's never been the same since. But, I digress.

I peed all over myself using an unlit public toilet in a park and had to walk right out soaking wet.

​My one goal in life... I repeat: My one goal was never be defeated by a toilet. 

I vowed that I would figure out how to flush even the most unusual toilet no matter where I was. Whether it be a toilet with a chain, a foot pedal, a lever cleverly hidden somewhere or a squatter, I was determined to never be defeated by a toilet. 

But I was defeated in a park bathroom where it was too dark to even find the handle or the chain or the foot pedal or the lever to flush the toilet.

 I failed to achieve this one goal. Flushing every time. I had to give up. This was before cell phones. Were it to happen today, I would have the flashlight on my phone.

Which makes me wonder why in hell I didn't travel with a flashlight!

Love, Vivian

PS Have fun on your journeys! Dedicated to Lyman and Jen Elliot!