Dear Walker: Don't Sign the "I HATE WOMEN BILL"

Scott Walker: Don’t sign the “I Hate Women Bill!”

Political leaders’ personal/religious views on abortion are irrelevant. Your job is to practice your religion, not to legislate it. Do Republicans believe in small government and privacy or not.

You are considering signing legislation that would be torture for many women.

I have a friend in Kentucky who found that she was carrying a terribly malformed fetus that was unlikely to live more than a few moments after birth. She & her husband were grief stricken and decided to have an abortion - and, you want to prevent them from having an abortion or add another roadblock to their tragic journey?

Rape victims (about 32,000/year get pregnant) often have vaginal damages, tears, rips, cuts, bruising, as well as having been beaten and bruised from head to toe.

Sometimes women and young girls are raped with metal and wooden objects. Sometimes their hair is pulled out in chunks.

Rape victims have to spend hours in the ER - in agony. They have to take a toxic HIV anti-viral and perhaps other medications. They may have to take  medication for anxiety and depression, in addition to any other medication they were on. You would force them to endure a dangerous pregnancy if you could, but instead you are considering signing a bill to force them to endure an ultrasound if they get pregnant and want an abortion? Shame!

Many dozens, if not hundreds of the patients I worked with (I am a retired psychiatric social worker) over the years were incest victims.

Do you really expect girls who are depressed, may be living with an abuser, are often suicidal, often engaging in a wide variety of acts of self-harm to now have an ultra-sound and identify the baby parts?

Did you know that a young girl whose father has been ramming his penis down her throat and up her vagina since she was 10 years old may have a "gagging" sensation every time she is anxious for the rest of her life? She may now be 18 and taking a number of psychiatric medications - and, you want to put another road block in her way to getting an abortion should she get pregnant? Shame!

I hope you are aware that women also have abortions for a wide variety of medical, personal, social and, yes, financial reasons. This may seem so trivial to well-fed folks. But, I have seen children going hungry and it is not something I want to see again.

There are a thousand things you are unaware of in your ignorant assumptions about selfish women who just want to pursue their careers or private lives. (Women with careers can afford children, BTW.)

Shame on anyone who votes to put roadblocks in the way of access to abortion.

Get out of your box and respect the rights of women.

With respect for the ability for women to make their own decisions,

Vivian Creekmore

Dear Wisconsin Senators: Shame on YOU

Senators:

My personal/religious views on abortion, and yours, are irrelevant. Your job is to practice your religion, not to legislate it. I thought Republicans believed in small government and privacy? No, obviously not. Are we on our way to the Evangelical version of "Sharia Law?"

Perhaps you are unaware that there are as many reasons as there are women for seeking abortion. 

I have a friend in Kentucky who found that she was carrying a terribly malformed fetus that was unlikely to live more than a few moments after birth. She & her husband were grief stricken and decided to have an abortion - and, you want to add another roadblock to their tragic journey?

Rape victions (about 32,000/year) often have internal damages, tears, rips, cuts, bruising, as well as having been beaten and bruised over their entire bodies. Sometimes they are raped with metal and wooden objects. Sometimes their hair is pulled out in chunks. They have to spend hours in the ER - in agony. They have to take a pretty toxic HIV anti-viral and perhaps other medications. They may have to take psychotropic medication, in addition to any other medication they were on. Oh, and women of all ages are raped as well as healthy young girls. And, now an ultrasound, if they get pregnant?

Many dozens, if not hundreds of the patients I worked with (I am a retired psychiatric social worker) over the years were incest victims.  Do you really expect girls who are depressed, maybe living with an abuser, often suicidal, often engaging in a wide variety of acts of self-loathing to now have an ultra-sound and identify the baby parts?

Did you know that a young girt whose father has been ramming his penis down her throat and up her vagina since she was 10 years old may have a "gagging" sensation every time she is anxious for the rest of her life? She may now be 18 and taking a number of psychotropic medications - and, you want to put another road block in her way to getting an abortion should she get pregnant? Shame!

I hope you are aware that women also have  abortions for a wide variety of medical, personal, social and, yes, financial reasons. This may seem so trivial to you well-fed folks. But, I have seen children going hungry and it is not something I want to see again.

Anti-choice Senators, there are a thousand things you are unaware of in your ignorant assumptions about selfish women who just want to pursue their careers or private lives. (Women with careers can afford children, BTW.)

Shame on anyone who votes to put roadblocks in the way of access to abortion.

Get out of your boxes and respect the rights of others.

Not much love today for lawmakers,

Vivian

Dear Janesville Cliques

Dear Janesville Cliques:

Yesterday, the Facebook page, Janesville Community Page, posed the question, “Have you found Janesville to be “cliquey? What does that mean to you and what can be done to change that perception?”

I love “Janesville Community Page” and that is a terrific question. But, I would like to change the reality – and, not the perception.

Let me establish my bona fides: In the years between graduating from college and moving to Janesville at age 36, I live in 4 states (East Coast, West Coast and South), hmmm… about 10 towns/cities, 12 dwellings that I can think of and worked at about 7 jobs including internships. I lived in 4 states in 3 years. Head-spinning, right!?!

So… cliquey? Every place on earth is cliquey in the sense that no person, organization or group anywhere wants to share power or money. So, access to power is tight & closed every where. Outsiders may never even know who the power players are in a given location – no matter how long they live there.

Cliquey in the social sense? Of course, Janesville is extremely cliquey. Not because the people are evil, but because there is little movement here. It isn’t a college town. There aren’t 10 big businesses or industries moving people in and out. It isn’t a tourist town. People have been here for decades – no, centuries!

People here socialize with their families and their kindergarten friends. Maybe they expand to include high school friends and the people they work with. Maybe not.

And, people see themselves as very friendly and do not see themselves as cliquey. That is because they are IN THE CLIQUE!

Janesvillains (smiling) are very polite. But, how likely is an outsider to be invited to dinner? To a party? Not very. To meetings, certainly. Not into people’s homes.

I realized that I am so Southern Hospitality Over-Friendly that I scare people -- especially Norwegian Bachelor Farmers, whom I had never heard of before. Yep, those Bachelor Farmers are afraid to make eye contact with me at the county fair. I shake hands too often, make too much eye contact and smile waaaaaayyyyy too much.

And, my husband is a big city Jewish boy. When his family visit (wearing too much jewelry) and we eat at rural supper clubs, people actually stare at us. Still. After 25 years. Yes, we feel right at home.

My husband and I have been to a party and a wedding where no one spoke to us and our hosts never introduced us to anyone. NOT. ONE. PERSON. SPOKE. 

Few people in Janesville “work a party” – greet guests, introduce them to others or walk the room making conversation.  None of our neighbors in Middleton, one location in Madison, nor in Janesville introduced themselves to us when we moved in. When I introduced myself to my neighbors in J’ville, only one family was friendly. One woman stood blocking the door and peering around the corner. Some people cried at Newcomers Club.

So, 25 years later, here I am. I have met people and made wonderful friends. But, I would advise anyone whose first impression is negative, and who doesn’t have to stay, to go. If you love Janesville at first sight, by all means, stay!

I made wonderful friends homeschooling and in the Democratic Party.

So, hell yes, Janesville is cliquey! So, if you are a Janesvillain, OPEN SESAME! Say, “Hello!” to everyone, of course! Greet everyone – not just your old Kindergarten friends. Greet your new neighbors. Invite people besides your first cousins to your parties. Greet people at your own parties, meetings and organizations! Smile! Smile at people that you have met even if you didn’t go to high school together. This is a cold hard place! Make it easier.

Oh, now, don’t be mad! I love you.

And, as for the other municipalities in Rock County, don’t be smug! Yes, Beloit, you are cliquey and unfriendly, too! Farther north? Madison? Oh, puleeeeeeeeeeze! Madison, you are just full of yourself, but at least there is a lot of coming and going so it is possible to meet people.

Say, “Hello!” Janesville!

Vivian

Dear Judgmental Assholes

Dear Judgmental Assholes:

I have tried being peaceful and non-judgmental about JA’s for a month. It isn’t working for me.

First, I am going to try to love you into submission and then I am going to slap you. With a heart full of love, I am telling you that by being Judgmental Asshole, you are making a fool of yourself.

You are telling the world that you are an un-educated moron. You are telling the world that you have never been around the block, never been outside your own back yard. You are broadcasting that you are a hick.

Oh, you may be from a big city – in which event you are a city hick. Oh, you may have gone to college. You may have a Ph.D. an M.D., or an M.D., but if you are a JA, you are an uneducated unsophisticated moron.

 Look up “sophisticated.” On-line will do. Here is a definition I like: Aware of and able to interpret complex issues. What is the opposite of complex? Simple! Do you want people to think you are simple?

Another definition: Having acquired worldly knowledge or refinement. Notice the first word was “worldly.” If you know nothing but wine labels or plumbing or contracting, you don’t know shit, Jack. Learn something about the world, or quit talking to me.

I do not want the world to look down on you because I love you, so I am first going to warn you and then I am going to slap you. Go, ahead. Call the police. Make my day. When I tell then what you said, they are going to cuff you, not me.

So, free advice: try your very best to remember something about the person you are talking with. I grew up in Appalachia. It is no secret that I grew up with people going hungry. I went to school with children who were hungry, had no medical care, had no dental care, had no Christmas presents, had no free lunch.

My number one peeve this week: Making fun of people without health & dental care.

People who do not have teeth are not making a fashion statement. They are not too stupid to have teeth. They are not too uneducated to have teeth.

They are too poor to have dental care and have been their entire lives.

You, my friends, who make fun of people who don’t have teeth, who make fun of poor people, who have lived in cities with fluoridated water, who have had dental care, insurance, dental insurance… or simply money, your entire lives are too freakin’ stupid, too intellectually lazy and too uneducated to exercise your lazy-assed brains and hearts. 

So, fair warning. I am slapping the next person that makes fun of people without teeth.

Because I love you too much to see you demean & degrade yourself right in front of my eyes.

All of my love to all of my people.

Vivian

Dear Sluts and Whores

Dear Sluts:

What do you call a man who "sleeps around?" Who cares? I'm on to something much more interesting!

Sluts and whores is old school. Remember when it was an insult. Now, I have come to love those words! Sticks and stones, I guess.

Besides, I'm over 60. I am begging someone to call me a slut. I am trying to figure out an anonymous way of calling myself a slut or whore.

What do you call a woman who sleeps around? I use to call her a "sexual adventurer." Oh, what a ring that has! 

Then, I realized that was very limiting and there must be many more delicious, tantalizing, exciting terms for such sexy ladies! And, I am just the word witch to find them. 

Here are mine! Please share yours!

A Womanly Daredevil -- I like it! It makes me think of circuses. And, clowns. Oh, and motorcycles. much more sexy! Yes, I like sexy Daredevils. I can just see it on someone's locker: DAREDEVIL!

A Sexual Entrepreneur? Does that imply creativity or imply an exchange of money. Can't quite decide.

Sexual Gambler! Sexual relationships are always a gamble, aren't they!

Sexual globetrotter? Does that apply to women who stay in one town? Can a sexy woman "globetrot" around her town? I say, yes! A Sexual Globetrotter can have sex in every village, town an city in her county!

Heroine? Yes! A Sex Heroine! Yes! Saving men or women from dull lives and introducing them to... the... dangerous life of sensuality!

Madcap? Oh, yes! I like! Let's call sluts and whores "madcaps!" 

Hateful old woman to her hateful old lady friends at LNO: "My son is going out with a girl who is an absolute... ... a... madcap who has had sex with the entire football team! My darling son has only had sex with the cheerleaders, the pompons and his teachers!"

A Sexual Opportunist... hmmm...I was assuming everyone was willing!... Or would that be a lovely lady who has sex at every opportunity! Park benches! Buses! Trains! Oh, don't be silly, we have a terrible mass transit system! Stick with park benches.

Sexual Pioneer? Yes, yes, yes! "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" Her: "No, but I will buy you one! I am a Sexual Pioneer. What kind of car are you driving. Hey, YOU. Get up off the floor."

A Sex Pirate. Who doesn't want to be a sex pirate? 

Can't you hear Rush Limbaugh now? "A bunch of crazed Sex Pirates broke into a pharmacy in Janesville, WI and stole female condoms and spermacidal gels! Female Sex Pirates are terrorizing every man over the age of 18 and all the young boys trying to look 18."

Sex Romantic. Headlines across the country:  Women who refuse to share their names have been having random sex with men and leaving nothing behind but their underwear -- and a single rose. The men return over and over to the bar where they met these so-call "Sex Romantics" trying to find the girl who smells like the underwear... I mean fits the underwear... because they are bewitched. Bewitched, I say!

Sexual Speculator? Hmmm... Not sure. These are Sexual Adventurers who are trying to invent new positions and sell articles to magazines. 

Sexual Stunt Woman - We all wish to be called SSW's! Hey, if I found that written on my windshield, I'd draw a smiley face underneath!

Sexy Swashbuckler?  It has an old fashioned ring to it. 

On the evening news: "A group of Swashbucklers boarded a boat in Lake Geneva and had sex with the men on board in full view of a restaurant patio. The patrons of the restaurant took pix but no one called the police until the Swashbucklers had left in their mini-vans. 

Sexy Travelers, Sexy Venturers, Sexy Voyagers,  and Sexy Wanderers... Oh my! Can't you just hear the minister now?

"Young men, do not be victim to Sexy Venturers. Do not fall prey to the Sexy Travelers in your college dorm. They merely want to exercise the pleasure centers in their brains. Try out some freedom. Experiment on their bodies and yours! Walk tall down the street. Be full and complete human beings -- as you are. 

Don't you just love language!?!

Your friend, 
Vivian

PS A condom plus reliable BC and common sense

Dear Pregnant Men

Dear Fertile Men:

Time for true confessions. I am a coward and I am sure I am not the only one. That is why I  love strong and responsible men so much!

I am a physical coward; a financial coward; and, an emotional coward...

There is no hardship or challenge or difficulty or hangnail in life that I am going through alone. Not. One.

In my immediate family I have 2 doctors, an attorney, a nurse, a PA, a psychologist and numerous criminal offenders. My childhood Sunday School class have been in prison.

Does peeing on a stick, DNA testing and "paternity suit" mean anything to you?

Here is the deal:

Forget this poopy head stuff about more birth control options being available to women than men.

Forget any poopy head stuff about the owner of the egg being the responsible party -- every tried to tango alone? Or... ever tried to get pregnant alone? 

If I am pregnant, so is the responsible sperm donor. And, his entire family. All of his friends. Metaphorically speaking.

I am notifying you and your parents, with all love in my heart, that you do not want to face a paternity suit and 18 years of child support and negotiations with a crazy woman you met once at the Saloon for Wild and Wooly Wo/men at bar time.

Ohhhhhh... It was an accident! I understand! You were having sex and your car exploded and you had a flat tire and your furnace blew up and...

Sex fiends, man whores and Conservative Religious men: zip it up and quit calling women whores and sluts. Someone is knocking. Go answer your door. You've been served! Haven't you figured out what is causing this, yet?

Love, love, love,
Vivian

Dear Man Whores and Conservatives

Dear Man Whores and Conservatives:

I was reading yet another rant from yet another troll about how, “If you sluts just kept your legs together you wouldn’t have to get abortions because you are so selfish you just want careers and don’t want anything but perfect babies and eggs and tea in China and coffee cake and…”

When it struck me like a blinding light that men are responsible for all pregnancies and all abortions and have the power to solve the problem!

We have a solution! Men, stop impregnating women. It is that simple!

Of course there is no way to stop abortion altogether because there will always be medical emergencies, for mother and fetus.

It is time for men to step up and be the heroes of abortion controversy!

1.   Men, you can completely celibate lives!

Yes, man whores and serious conservatives, for the sake of ending selective abortion, live completely celibate lives. Or…

2.    Have a vasectomy! Already have a child or two? Perfect! The world doesn’t need any more children and neither do you!

3.    Never have unprotected sex. Never. Ever. Ever. With anyone. No matter what.

4.    Always use 2 methods of birth control. This is called The Condom Plus Plan!

5.    Never trust a woman or one method: Use a condom plus oral contraception.

If a woman tells you that she in “on the pill” ask to see the package and check the date of the prescription and check the day the last pill was taken. Ask how long she has been taking the pills and where she receives health care. Now, we will all feel better – after putting on a condom!

6.    Do your own investigating: If a woman tells you she has an IUD, vaginal ring (NuvaRing), gets BC shots, has a BC patch  or implant, ask her what type, who her doctor is, how long she has had it, etc.

In the unlikely event she is using a diaphragm or cervical cap, you must see it to believe it!

Of course, if she isn’t really using any of these methods or isn’t up to date, it will be obvious – if you are a good interrogator. Do you want to have sex with a liar? Of course you do! You will have sex with any moving object.

If she is too impaired by drugs or alcohol to answer your questions, well… now… proceeding to have sex would be rape, wouldn’t it?

7.   Always use a condom plus a supplementary method. So, it may be time to visit the drug store!

8.   So, that leaves female condoms and spermicidal creams, film, foam, gel and suppositories.

And, a condom! Duh!

Now, all of you anti-abortion man-whores and raving conservative religious gentlemen, we have solved the problem of abortion!

You were the cause of abortion all along! Who knew? But, of course, we love you! And, since you love to be the big boys in charge, we put you in charge.

Stop impregnating women.

Your friend,

Vivian