Thursday, May 31, 2012

Dear Walker and His Fellow Teabaggers

Dear Tea People, Baggers (oh, the images that calls to mind), Partiers, Drinkers...,Whatever You Want to Be Called--And Village Idiots in Gerneral:

I love you phantasmagorically! I have been called to love the unloved. The unlovable. The silly. The ridiculous. I simply adore Village Idiots! Why some of my best friends are Village Idiots.

Most important of all. I have been called to love those whose parents did not love them and provide them with adequate parenting as a child. I am so sorry about your lack of parenting. So very sorry!

I am especially sorry for those of you whose parents did not teach you right from wrong, Scotty. I am so sorry for those of you (are you listening, Scotty?) whose parents did not teach you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth--are still with me...Scotty?

My heart is filled with sorrow--and, I am not being facetious--for those of you who grew up in "Christian" households without a deep and abiding need & craving to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and care for widows and orphans. Does this evoke any memories...Scotty?

"Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." Matthew 25:45 


Scotty! Whatever you did NOT do for others is the same as failing to do it for Christ. And, whatever you do to or for others is the same as doing to or for Christ. That is one scary verse. I digress.

But, that is why I am here! I am here to parent you, to mother you, to teach you right from wrong! No need to thank me--as I said, it is my calling.

Were I you (and thank the Wood Nymphs, I am not) I would consider suing my parents. Parents have one job and one job only: to see that their children do NOT grow up to be the VILLAGE IDIOTS!

Of course they should refrain from abusing anyone or any substances and should nurture their children as the invaluable gift from the Goddess that they are.

But, Holy Pomona, why did your parents let you--Scotty and your Tea Friends--grow up to make abject fools of yourselves every stinking day every where you go?

Lesson Number 1. You are NOT NORMAL. We can SEE you. Everyone can SEE you. Every day. Every where. In fact, we can see right through you.

You are NOT NORMAL in every sense of the word. You are NOT AVERAGE. You bear no resemblance to the average person sitting in an average booth next to you at an average restaurant in an average town.

To spell it out: Normal people do not lie, cheat, wear crazy hats with tea bags hanging from them, engage in anonymous dirty tricks, have "troll" accounts on Facebook, and they certainly don't have Legal Defense Funds!

Normal people also have something called a "conscience." Yes, I know you are conscious--maybe. This is different.

You are off the charts NOT NORMAL. I am telling you this for FREE! OK, maybe I will send a bill. Scotty, your Legal Defense Fund can pay. Only $200.00/hour. Get help today. I love you, This proves it.
Your parents did not love you!

Lesson Number 2. You are stupid and ill informed. Good parents do not let their kids grow up to marry cowboys or be stupid and ill informed. NO good parent wants the VILLAGE IDIOT for a child--for everyone's sake--the Idiot's, the parent's, and certainly it isn't in the best interest of the village.

Have you ever watched international television? Ever watched anything besides Fox? Everyone in the USA & the civilized--and uncivilized world--is laughing at you! Did you know that sheep herders in the Middle East watch international TV at coffee shops when they are in town? They are rolling on the floors of coffee shops laughing at Scott Walker and Tea Baggers. The part about rolling on the floor was a lie. See, I walk the walk! No, didn't think so.

[I am very fortunate to be able to travel some. When people ask where we are from, my husband (oh, craven man) says Canada. I cannot lie without getting a tic in my right eye. Everyone everywhere asks us what is wrong with you people and I am sick of trying to explain the inexplicable and apologizing! Walker, if for no other reason you have to go so I can travel in peace.]

Walker and Tea Party:  Have you ever read a...wait for it...a book that wasn't written by a propagandist? No, didn't think so. Scotty, are you literate? That isn't why you had to leave college is it?

Scotty and Tea Party: People the world over are watching the USA in wonder! They wonder how and why, in the 21st century, we still have people who don't "believe" in science--as though science is a religion, in evolution, global climate change, or Hawaiian Birth Certification.

Soon, your children won't be able to read the directions on their hand gun boxes they will be so under educated. Or, their automatic weapons boxes. Or their shoulder launching rockets instructions...or

Soon...Holy Mars...we won't be able to go to war because we will no longer have a science and technological class in the USA.

Soon, we won't have any astrophysicists--because...uh...you know why. We won't have any biologists because, well you know what one of the underpinning theories of biology is...don't you?

I'm just messin' with you! Your leaders--the super rich people (think Koch brothers) who rock your world and provide the money just tell you what you want to hear so you will keep on voting in their best interests. You don't honestly think that the good people at Exxon-Mobile don't believe in science do you? Really. Think...oil?

Where was I?

Well, I just wanted to let you know that if your parents had really loved you, they would have bought you and encyclopedia--or today a really good computer, a good dictionary and taught you some good old skepticism. You would have read the newspaper every day and watched real news at least once a day. So you wouldn't grow up to be the VILLAGE IDIOT.

They would have seen that you graduated from college if that meant they had to move into your dorm room with you and gone to your classes with you. If your parents had loved you, you would not already have been in trouble by your freshman year of college...Scotty.

If your parents had really loved you, they would have taught you that going to church was worthless if you didn't walk the walk.

You would have been required to "work your own program" (that means examine your own conscience and behavior) and refrain from judging others.

Hmmmm...you would not need a Legal Defense Fund.

Oh, good parents watch the company their children keep, Scotty. Yours should not have allowed you to play with narrow minded bigots who dress poorly. My goodness! Parents who love their children just do not let them wear weird hats in public!

Good parents do not let their children do strange sneaky things. No, that is normal. I am talking about doing strange mean hostile sneaky things. Normal people are not "trolls" and any loving parent would die of shame.

Normal people do not use any Nazi imagery for any self-serving political reason what-so-ever. Normal people fight political battles on the issues. Shame on your parents for not teaching you about this.

But, I love you with my whole heart!  I want to help you, to teach you, to mother you. So, read 1 Corinthian 13. In fact, since I believe that most of you profess to belong to the Christian faith, just go ahead and read the entire Gospel! Then, practice it!

So, now democrats, Democrats, greens, Greens, recovered Republicans, Republicans against Walker, liberals, progressives, true Conservatives and folks who have never before voted--all people who love the great state of Wisconsin: vote for BARRETT & MITCHELL on June 5! You can register and vote on the same day. You need proof of residence if registering but you do not need a photo ID for this election!

I love you one and all. I really, really do! Hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.

And, I love the great state of Wisconsin!

Your friend,

Vivian





Thursday, May 24, 2012

Dear Pamphleteers: Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!


Dear Pamphleteers:

I want to thank you so much! I am still reeling from the realization that well educated professionals such as teachers make so little money--and, their benefits packages do not really compensate for this.

Pamphleteers--I love you! Others may call you sneaky cowardly base, contembible, devious, double-dealing, stealthy, tricky, underhanded, yellow-bellied, gutless skunks--but I love you! I really really do!

Hope I didn't hurt your feelings!

But, my goodness, what does it say about you, and all your "troll" friends that you don't have the courage of your convictions? Oh, that's another "Love Letter" isn't is?

I am sooooooo glad that you pointed out the low salaries of teachers! I was forced to do some research--I just love research. My mother was a teacher first and then a librarian! I love punctuation, too--don't you?

20 REASONS TEACHERS IN WISCONSIN SHOULD HAVE LARGER COMPENSATION PACKAGES:

1. All teachers have bachelor's degrees and over 50% of Wisconsin teachers have master's degrees. They should make more money because they are better educated.

Fewer than 25% of Wisconsin residents have college degrees and even fewer have master’s degrees, yet critics of teachers’ salaries constantly compare the salaries of this highly educated population with the general population of Wisconsin.

They are not overpaid when their education and years of experience are taken into consideration.

Those with master's degrees make less than in the private sector but their benefits compensate for the lower salary.

2. Starting salaries in Wisconsin are 49th in the country and should be raised to make Wisconsincompetitive with Illinois—or Wisconsin school teachers will flee to IL.

3. A four year college degree costs about $80,000 at a state school in Wisconsin and $200,000 at a private university. Scholarships & even loans are very difficult to come by. Opportunity costs raise that another $40-80,000—teachers give up an annual income of at least $10-20,000/year to attend college.

So, teachers with only a B.A have invested a minimum of $120,000 in their education and as much as $280,000 – 300,000 just getting the basic requirement to teach—a B.A. degree.

In order to recover just the cost of the education alone, a teacher would need to make over $8,000-20,000 more over the entire course of their careers than they would if working in another field!

Teachers cannot even recover the costs of their education—the pay is too low.

4. Failing to compensate teachers competitively will result in a "brain drain"—the most competitive & qualified teachers will begin leaving the field or not enter it or leave Wisconsin to teach in other states that are "friendlier" to teachers. Web-sites rate states according to the pay scale, benefits, scheduled raises, etc.

5. Public education is the final common denominator in our culture. If we despise our schools and our teachers, we despise ourselves. Our schools reflect our culture and are the one experience most of us share.

Most children will attend public schools. Relatively few will attend private or home schools.

Public schools are required to accept all students: those with devoted parents and those with negligent parents; those who are well-behaved and those with behavior problems; those with mental illness; those with learning disabilities and those who are gifted and talented, etc. Public education is not comparable to private education.

Teachers do not create our social problems and do not have the power to solve our social problems. They have no choice over their "client" – They have to take all comers. They have to play every hand that is dealt them year in and year out. They deserve generous compensation for this.

6. Teachers work independently, using their own judgment, without close supervision. This is in no way comparable to factory work, office work, or clerking in a store and they deserve compensation for this.

7. Children are, quite literally, the single greatest resource of any person, family, or country.

If our educational system has problems, we must solve them. But, those problems will not be solved by competing with McDonald's for employees.

The people who are responsible for our next generation of physicists, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and mechanics deserve our utmost respect and compensation. If you do not value the people providing the education of your OWN children, shame on you!

Your corporations, your research labs, your armies, your hospitals are worthless without well educated population to work in them.

Compete in a global economy? Go to war? You want to pay the people that teach our children peanuts and yet have the gall to talk about a global economy?

I submit that Republicans have no money sense at all--and haven't had for years. They are "penny wise and pound foolish." Oh, look it up, for Gawd's sake!

8. Teachers are "on" all the time they are not on a designated break. They cannot chat on their cells, take long potty breaks, or snack when no one is looking.

9. They have to be in the room with OTHER PEOPLE'S SPOILED BRATS all day long. Pay them a lot, I say!

10. Teachers grade papers, make bulletin boards, read, attend seminars, etc—all on their own time.

11. EVERYONE should have a family supporting wage, health care, and a retirement plan.

If you are envious of teachers’ compensation packages and union benefits, go to college—it’s never too late! Get a job requiring a college degree or a union job. But, don’t try to cut teachers down to your size.

12. We love and revere Thomas Jefferson don't we? An educated public is necessary to a democracy. There is no more important job in a democracy than that of a teacher. We cannot claim to value education and then refuse to pay for it.

13. Did YOU teach YOUR own children to read or teach them math skills? Why not? Enough said.

14. Education as an industry is a powerful economic engine. Every dollar taken out of the salary budget for education is a dollar taken out of the local community’s economy. If you want teachers eating at your restaurant, buying cars at your dealership, shopping at your store, pay them.

15. Fringe benefits are not “free.” They are part of the compensation package that teachers receive. Is there something about “compensation package” that you don’t understand? Grinches, learn to use "Google" for goodness sake!

Articles criticizing teachers’ salaries frequently refer to them as free: “Teachers receive free health care,” etc. These benefits are part of a total compensation package. If an employer can purchase an insurance plan for $10,000 that would cost me $20,000—or which I could not buy at all on the non-existent “open market” for insurance—then I am better off taking the insurance in lieu of a higher salary.

16. Articles criticizing teachers salaries usually compare teachers with master’s degrees and years of experience (and include their total compensation package) to the “average worker” who does not have a bachelor’s nor the same years of experience. Comparing apples to apples, teachers are slightly underpaid.

17. Teachers buy supplies with their own money. Some of my elementary school teachers bought Christmas presents for every poor child in class every year.

18. Parents are required by law to send their children to school or to register as a home school. We cannot require our schools by law to provide a service and then under-fund them and the people who provide that service.

19. Did you educate your own children? If you think you can do a better job, do it. Go ahead. Walk the walk. And, while you are at it, please teach a Sunday School class and be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Were you at the PTO meetings? I didn’t see you. Teachers carry a heavy responsibility for your children's future.

20. Teachers change children’s lives. Teaching can be a spiritual calling. Teachers hold the hearts of our children in their hands. They are responsible for the emotional, intellectual, and physical well-being of our children. They can change the future. They should make at least as much as our politicians.

Grinches, what if your children cannot read the directions on their new handgun box because their teacher (who cannot make it in the REAL WORLD) left to work at McDonald's for higher salary?

 Raise the salaries of teachers to insure the quality of education remains high--just as you would in that heavenly place called "the private sector!"
Grinches, let's cherish public education more! Join the PTO! Raise teachers' salaries! Send your children to school every day! Do their homework with them! Don't let your children be bullies--or be bullied! Require them to respect their teachers--and education! Teach your children to read BEFORE they go to school! GASP! GARGLE! Why, we could all teach our children etiquette! OK, now I'm getting carried away...Breathe, Vivian, breathe...

I love you. I really, really do. But, if you want an educated population... well... you have to educate your population. And, nothing in life is free.

Your friend,

Vivian

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Dear Grinches--Let's Pay Teachers 100K/Year!

I am sooooooo glad you put out that flier with the Gazette! I just love the Gazette, don't you? So does my dog--Coco Chanel the Fashion Dog. Education Grinches, I had no idea at all how underpaid teachers are! I am shocked--shocked to the core--I tell you!

Teachers' salaries should begin at $50,000 and shouldn't top out under $100,000!

I love you, Education Grinches! I really really do! I love all Grinches. You are so very easy to love. I love all the people of the world who hate this and hate that and then never do their homework! It makes my job so much easier. After all, it is easy to win arguments with people who never do their homework! 

[Holy kitty cats! You Grinches were not good students, were you!?!  That is one of the too numerous to list reasons you hate teachers and education! You still hate that 7th grade English teacher. Sad. Very sad. Buck up & get over it!]

Hope I didn't hurt your feelings!

Educations Grinches, I have been waiting with bated breath to hear that you have taken your children out of our rotten horrible no good Wisconsin schools with those sorry slacker teachers who couldn't cut it in the REAL WORLD and begun homeschooling them! What? You haven't!?! Why not? You hate ­ public education and Wisconsins' school teachers! Withdraw your children now, I say!­

Hmmmm?

Wait! You are going to take your children out today and send them to private school because you cannot bear for them to spend another minute being taught by those horribly rotten no good slacker school teachers who have more money than Scott Walker’s defense fund! 

I will be watching the private school and home school registration to make sure you are walking the walk. Because that is the only thing that matters, doncha think? Walking the walk?

I admit I have been thinking about that whole "rich school teachers who couldn't make it in the REAL WORLD" criticism.

[Side bar: Where is the REAL WORLD? ]

Have any of these critics ever seen a child before? A hormonal teenager? A group of children? What job could be more daunting than that!?!

I wanted to substitute teach when my daughter went to college, but I learned that I have a paralyzing phobia of more than 10 children in a group.  Who am I kidding—I don’t even like children!

There isn’t a compensation package big enough to entice me to face a group of 5 year old children—or 16 year old adolescents. Let teachers have them.

So, my dear, dear Education Grinches, here is my response to you! No, you don't have to thank me! I love doing research! I learn so much. You should try it. I especially love the Bureau of were Labor Statistics. No, sweethearts, biased sources don't count.

TEAHCERS SHOULD MAKE $100,000/YEAR PLUS BENEFITS—AND, HERE’S WHY!

First, we must clarify why we are even talking about why about this at all.

There are many ways to address any state budget problems. The only reasons that Wisconsin’s problems were addressed at the expense of public employees are political:

1. TO WEAKEN PUBLIC INSTITUTIONS
2. TO STRENGTHEN PRIVATE CORPORATIONS
3. TO BREAK THE BACKS OF PUBLIC EMPLOYEE UNIONS.
4. TO HANDICAP FUNDRAISING ABILITIES OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.

It is vital to understand the politics behind the attacks on teachers and “the budget bill.”

1. Republicans have a dictatorship in any state when they have the governor’s seat, a majority in the Senate, and a majority in the Assembly. They want to strangle any opposition—in order to keep this stranglehold that is tearing Wisconsin apart. It sounds dramatic--but, we have a dictatorship going in Wisconsin.

2. Scott Walker & Wisconsin Republicans need to handicap the fundraising abilities of Democrats in every way possible by continuing to sow as much dissent as possible.

3. Republican support comes mostly from large corporations and small business owners who are deluded into believing that they are big business owners.

4. In order to increase the power of corporations in Wisconsin & the U.S, Republicans need to weaken American institutions and our public life and strengthen the power of private for-profit corporations—in order to increase their own power & wealth. Read that again: REPUBLICANS WANT TO WEAKEN OUT PUBLIC LIFE & PRECIOUS PUBLIC INSTITUTIONS.

5. So…attacking teachers & municipal employees (& their unions) allows Walker and Republicans to give the impression of being heroes, to weaken our public institutions, and eventually to handicap the Democratic Party—the ultimate goal.

Too bad if it also turns Wisconsin into a third world state.

THE PUBLIC RELATIONS STRATEGIES USED TO ACCOMPLISH THIS ARE:

*Create envy of unionized public employees—“The overpaid lazy teacher and government employee.”

*Create disdain for government employees—“The overpaid slackers who couldn’t cut it in the real world.”

*Create an “Us vs. Them” mentality—The “independent hard working earned everything by themselves never got a dime from anyone” private sector employee vs. the “spoiled overpaid” teacher & public sector employee.

Now, those lines are drawn! Now countless people believe that every teacher makes $75,000 dollars a year for babysitting from 9 am to 3 pm—because that is what Republicans tell them.

Countless Wisconsin citizens think a teacher with 25 years experience in the same profession who coaches 2 seasons and works summer school—with a college degree, a master’s degree and credits toward a doctorate—should make the same amount of money as a receptionist with a high school diploma or a factory line worker with no independent decision making responsibilities.

With all due respect to receptionists, all those who didn’t go to college and all hourly employees, I do not think so. Although, I do think everyone should make a family supporting wage.


DO I REALLY NEED TO STATE WHY TEACHERS NEED UNIONS AND HIGHER SALARIES? APPARENTLY SO.

Starting salaries for teachers in Wisconsin are now 49th in the country. Republicans would like us to rank 50th. What a goal.

Without unions, if the superintendent’s niece wants you job, she gets it  and you go to Timbuctoo. Sorry, Mr. or Ms. Superintendent. It had to be said.

20 REASONS TEACHERS IN WISCONSIN SHOULD HAVE LARGER COMPENSATION PACKAGES:

1. All teachers have bachelor's degrees and over 50% of Wisconsin teachers have master's degrees. They should make more money because they are better educated.

Fewer than 25% of Wisconsin residents have college degrees and even fewer have master’s degrees, yet critics of teachers’ salaries constantly compare the salaries of this highly educated population with the general population of Wisconsin.

They are not overpaid when their education and years of experience are taken into consideration.

Those with master's degrees make less than in the private sector but their benefits compensate for the lower salary.

2. Starting salaries in Wisconsin are 49th in the country and should be raised to make Wisconsin competitive with Illinois—or Wisconsin school teachers will flee to IL.

3. A four year college degree costs about $80,000 at a state school in Wisconsin and $200,000 at a private university. Scholarships & even loans are very difficult to come by. Opportunity costs raise that another $40-80,000—teachers give up an annual income of at least $10-20,000/year to attend college.

So, teachers with only a B.A have invested a minimum of $120,000 in their education and as much as $280,000 – 300,000 just getting the basic requirement to teach—a B.A. degree.

In order to recover just the cost of the education alone, a teacher would need to make over $8,000-20,000 more over the entire course of their careers than they would if working in another field!

Teachers cannot even recover the costs of their education—the pay is too low.

4. Failing to compensate teachers competitively will result in a "brain drain"—the most competitive & qualified teachers will begin leaving the field or not enter it or leave Wisconsin to teach in other states that are "friendlier" to teachers. Web-sites rate states according to the pay scale, benefits, scheduled raises, etc.

5. Public education is the final common denominator in our culture. If we despise our schools and our teachers, we despise ourselves. Our schools reflect our culture and are the one experience most of us share.

Most children will attend public schools. Relatively few will attend private or home schools.

Public schools are required to accept all students: those with devoted parents and those with negligent parents; those who are well-behaved and those with behavior problems; those with mental illness; those with learning disabilities and those who are gifted and talented, etc. Public education is not comparable to private education.

Teachers do not create our social problems and do not have the power to solve our social problems. They have no choice over their "client" – They have to take all comers. They have to play every hand that is dealt them year in and year out. They deserve generous compensation for this.

6. Teachers work independently, using their own judgment, without close supervision. This is in no way comparable to factory work, office work, or clerking in a store and they deserve compensation for this.

7. Children are, quite literally, the single greatest resource of any person, family, or country.

If our educational system has problems, we must solve them. But, those problems will not be solved by competing with McDonald's for employees.

The people who are responsible for our next generation of physicists, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and mechanics deserve our utmost respect and compensation. If you do not value the people providing the education of your OWN children, shame on you!

Your corporations, your research labs, your armies, your hospitals are worthless without well educated population to work in them.

Compete in a global economy? Go to war? You want to pay the people that teach our children peanuts and yet have the gall to talk about a global economy?

I submit that Republicans have no money sense at all--and haven't had for years. They are "penny wise and pound foolish." Oh, look it up, for Gawd's sake!

8. Teachers are "on" all the time they are not on a designated break. They cannot chat on their cells, take long potty breaks, or snack when no one is looking.

9. They have to be in the room with OTHER PEOPLE'S SPOILED BRATS all day long. Pay them a lot, I say!

10. Teachers grade papers, make bulletin boards, read, attend seminars, etc—all on their own time.

11. EVERYONE should have a family supporting wage, health care, and a retirement plan.

If you are envious of teachers’ compensation packages and union benefits, go to college—it’s never too late! Get a job requiring a college degree or a union job. But, don’t try to cut teachers down to your size.

12. We love and revere Thomas Jefferson don't we? An educated public is necessary to a democracy. There is no more important job in a democracy than that of a teacher. We cannot claim to value education and then refuse to pay for it.

13. Did YOU teach YOUR own children to read or teach them math skills? Why not? Enough said.

14. Education as an industry is a powerful economic engine. Every dollar taken out of the salary budget for education is a dollar taken out of the local community’s economy. If you want teachers eating at your restaurant, buying cars at your dealership, shopping at your store, pay them.

15. Fringe benefits are not “free.” They are part of the compensation package that teachers receive. Is there something about “compensation package” that you don’t understand? Grinches, learn to use "Google" for goodness sake!

Articles criticizing teachers’ salaries frequently refer to them as free: “Teachers receive free health care,” etc. These benefits are part of a total compensation package. If an employer can purchase an insurance plan for $10,000 that would cost me $20,000—or which I could not buy at all on the non-existent “open market” for insurance—then I am better off taking the insurance in lieu of a higher salary.

16. Articles criticizing teachers salaries usually compare teachers with master’s degrees and years of experience (and include their total compensation package) to the “average worker” who does not have a bachelor’s nor the same years of experience. Comparing apples to apples, teachers are slightly underpaid.

17. Teachers buy supplies with their own money. Some of my elementary school teachers bought Christmas presents for every poor child in class every year.

18. Parents are required by law to send their children to school or to register as a home school. We cannot require our schools by law to provide a service and then under-fund them and the people who provide that service.

19. Did you educate your own children? If you think you can do a better job, do it. Go ahead. Walk the walk. And, while you are at it, please teach a Sunday School class and be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Were you at the PTO meetings? I didn’t see you. Teachers carry a heavy responsibility for your children's future.

20. Teachers change children’s lives. Teaching can be a spiritual calling. Teachers hold the hearts of our children in their hands. They are responsible for the emotional, intellectual, and physical well-being of our children. They can change the future. They should make at least as much as our politicians.

My dear Education Grinches, if you hate public education so much, withdraw your children today! Today, I say! How can you possibly keep up your military and police state with such a woefully uneducated population! It is frightening!

What if your children cannot read the directions on their new handgun box because their teacher who cannot make it in the REAL WORLD didn't teach them well! Get them out of our horrible public schools and teach them yourselves! :>)

Another possibility is that we cherish public education more! Join the PTO! Raise teachers' salaries! Send your children to school every day! Do their homework with them! Don't let your children be bullies--or be bullied! Make them respect their teachers! Teacher your children to read BEFORE they go to school! GASP! GARGLE! Why, we could all teach our children etiquette! OK, now I'm getting carried away...Breathe, Vivian, breathe...

I love you. I really, really do. But, if you want an educated population... well... you have to educate your population. And, nothing in life is free.

Your friend,

Vivian

In memory: Wilma Detherage Creekmore. My mother taught school and was a librarian for 30 years in rural Eastern Kentucky. We thought she was a rocket scientist—and so did everyone else.

As a child, I could not have imagined a day when people despised teachers. People treated us like we were the children of “Brad & Angelina!” She began teaching at 18 years of age (after WWII with an emergency teacher certificate and 2 years of college) in one and two room schools up “hollers” where the school district had contracts with neighbors to board her when it snowed.

She taught in schools that had coal stoves. She taught in schools that had 16 year old six feet tall delinquents in 8th grade. She was never afraid. They, and we, were afraid of her! She graded papers at night, bought her own supplies, and took clothes to her students. She finished a bachelor’s and a master’s degree after having 2 children. She was the role model of an independent career woman. She fought to unionize the schools—but lost that battle. She fought for sex education in the schools—and won that battle. She always fought for increased funding.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Dear Cowardly Lying Bastard Pamphleteer Propagandists



Good grief! This letter is to LOW WAGE REPUBLICANS and I've insulted Bastards in the salutation! My My goodness! I am so sorry! OK, forward to the main event.

I love a good coward! I love the looks on your faces! I just love your...your...lack of courage. How you (don't) sign your names to anything. How you (don't) stand up for what you believe in! How you love exposing other people--Isn't that a sexual perversion of some sort?

Oh, and liars! I love how you lie outright. How you leave out information--half truths and 10% truths and everything in between are your specialties. How you distort. Manipulate. Use connotation and denotation to your advantage--even if you don't know what they mean.

I love propagandists, too! You are so sincere, it makes my heart hurt. It really, really does. Your sincere ignorance just hurts my heart--but, then, you do hate education.

It hurts to think how you want people to make less money. It really hurts to see how envious you are of your children's teacher--instead of Mitt Romney. Good God!!!  I want 2 Cadillacs! And, a really big house. And, no college loans. Not a very small Toyota and a ranch house in Janesville, WI. Why be envious of teachers & not Mittens? That is a conundrum. Oh, look it up sweetheart--you've already told us how you feel about education.

Because, after all, you hate teachers and education so much. How's that workin' for you? Well. It is obvious to the rest of us how that worked out for you. Oh, I do so hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

Your feelings about education show every time your open your mouth. Every time you write a sentence. I am hoping you will take some continuing education classes. Read a newspaper. No, not that old conservative rag. A real newspaper, honey! You don't watch BBC World News. It shows.

Every time I vote, I dedicate my vote to someone or some group. TODAY, when I vote ABSENTEE BALLOT, I am dedicating my vote to TEACHERS!!! Because I love teachers. Oh, don't be silly. I didn't love them when I was in school. Do I sound like the kind of girl who loved school????

Did I mention my mother was a teacher? Did I mention:

1. Only 25% of WI residents have a college degree. That could be why LOW WAGE REPUBLICANS don't make a higher wage.
2. Teachers making higher salaries have years of experience in the same job/field. Everyone would make more money if s/he had 20 years experience in the same field or with the same employer.
3, Many teachers have Master's degrees or Ph.d's. Put in 4 years of college and then 4 more getting a Ph.d and then you will make more money.
4. Then try putting in extra hours--coaching. Teach the work week and then coach.
5. And, many teachers also teach summer school.

No, teachers don't get the "summers off." They have a contract for the days & hours they work.

LOW WAGE REPUBLICANS, I wish you were smart enough to realize that when you bring down teachers and unions and health care workers and... YOU are next.

Well, I hope I have been a help to you today.. Because I love you! I really, really do!

LOW WAGE REPUBLICANS. Those of you filled with envy and greed, I am so sorry. But, honestly, take some lessons from me. IF you want to be envious, and you do, here are my recommendations. Jennifer Lopez is having a lot more fun than any school teacher I know. What the hell is wrong with you???? You are envious of school teachers instead of J-Lo?

LOW WAGE REPUBLICANS, you are envious of librarians & kindergarten teachers? Where is your imagination? Why aren't you envious of...even Paul Ryan? A Koch brother or two? They are butt-ugly, but, hey, if you have enough $$$$, who cares. Why not be envious of Donald Trump? Well...there is the hair. My point was, if you are going to reveal yourself to the entire world, all of your friends, your minister, your children...as the ugliest of all people in the entire world, AN ENVIER, why not choose someone worth envying? I will go first. I am envious of Oprah's wealth and success. There! I want to own an island, also.

Now, take my advice and quit sending out silly pamphlets which reveal to your personal world that you are a bunch of sneaky low life's. Get out there and do something great.

I love you! I really, really do! Your mothers did not love you enough to teach you the finer points of life. I am sooooooo sorry. I really, really am.

Your friend,

Vivian

Friday, May 4, 2012

Dear LAD's


Dear LAD's:

Oh, look what you have done! You know how I hate vulgarity and yet you have forced me into it. I love you to death, quite literally, but I do wish you had chosen another name for yourselves.

Lazy A@@#$% Democrats: I am talking to you. Democrats who are too lazy to vote. 

But, I am not being selective. I am inclusive. I am also speaking to swing "mostly non" voters. And, non-voting moderates. Lazy independents. Non-voting tree huggers. Oh, and independents who (don't) "vote for the person or the issue."

I do just love you to death! I could just squeeze you til you cry! I could pinch your cheeks black and blue. I could...stop it, Vivian!

My goodness, my all time favorites are people who don't vote on principle. Yes, one of you told me that she was on Social Security and Medicare, believes that all politicians are crooks, hates politics, and therefore refuses to vote. Speechless. Simply speechless. That doesn't happen every day.

Other than the principled non-voters, are the rest of you simply too lazy to vote? Too lazy to read a newspaper? Too lazy to visit city hall and register to vote? Too lazy to look up voter and voting information on the internet?

OH, NO! You weren't too lazy! You were watching television! On Facebook? There is actually a lot of excellent political information on Facebook. No? Golf? Bowling? Working on your lawn? Talking on your cell phone? Texting!?! 

So, what were you doing? Getting a root canal? 


I love Democrats and I am a Yeller Dog Democrat. (Google it for God's sake; what am I--your mother?)

But, honestly, Dems would rather get a root canal than vote.

And, Republicans would rather vote than take a free trip to Hawaii.

So, Democrats, Independents, independents, Greens, environmentalists, swing voters, recovered/moderate Republicans--for goodness sake VOTE!!! You are getting on my nerves.

VOTE like your life depends on it; like your health care depends on it; like your income depends on it; like your retirement depends on it; like having a job depends on it; like our schools depend on it; like your children's future depends on it...need I say more?

And, take everyone in your family and a few friends with you.

Stop with this, "Oh, I forgot...had to go to the convenience store...just quit smoking...felt nervous that day...over-slept...had a bad hair day...lost my toothbrush...needed a haircut...huh?" stuff and VOTE!

Oh, dear! Hope I didn't hurt your feelings. 

Don't forget: The only way to recall Walker is to vote on June 5 for the Democrat who wins the May 8 Primary.

And, darlin', if ever you don't know who to vote for? All you have to do is ask!

I love you! I really, really do!

Your friend,

Vivian

~~From the CapTimes:  Walker, Barrett in Dead Heat, Poll Says by Bill Novak
Governor Scott Walker and Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett are in a virtual tie in the recall election, according to a new poll released Wednesday.
The Marquette University Law School poll said Barrett, who lost to Walker in the governor's race in 2010, has a 47 percent to 46 percent lead on the governor among registered voters, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel said. The one-percentage point lead goes to Walker when considering only likely voters.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Dear Non-Voters

Dear Non-Voters:

Yeah you -- you little worms. You who tell me that you don't vote because you don't like politics and think all politicians are crooks. Well, I confess, you are the hardest to love of all! I am meditating, praying, reading books on loving my enemies...  I am working on it. V e  r  y ... slowly. I blame you because I am pretty great at loving.

Hope I didn't hurt your feelings! Why does the term "worm" keep coming into my head?

While many of us are out making phone calls, knocking on doors, making posters, standing out in the freezing cold, writing letters... YOU don't vote?

Yes, don't like politics. You don't like politicians. You think they are all corrupt. So, you do the only reasonable thing? You don't vote!

Do you know a politician? Personally? Have you ever been to a community, political, city council, county board, political party, or other such meeting?

In a world of possibilities--visiting the governor's office, writing your lawmakers, visiting them, writing letters to the editor, attending protests...?  No, you do none of these things. Instead you boycott voting.

Let's see. Some of you have told me that you are disillusioned and don't vote because you don't have a job, don't have health care, cannot afford your house, hate your lives... I see a trend here!

Darlings, your answer is to pout at home? Elections have been won and lost by, quite literally, one vote. Elections are commonly won and lost by a few percentage points.

So, I hope that no one else tells me that they don't vote. Because I might feel compelled to tell you how much I love you.

Your friend,

Vivian

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dear Theocrats

Dear Theocrats,

Dear Theocrats. Darling Theocrats. I love you! I really, really do. Even when you are at your most bonkers. Why, then I love you most.

No, don't be silly. I am not talking to Iran! I know very few Persians. And, the ones I know are very reasonable and are certainly not Theocrats. Really, you have to learn to think! Get out more. Your bubble is too tight. You're suffocating in there.

I am talking to American Fundamentalists, Evangelicals, Conservative Catholics & Protestants, and Republicans who are relentless in their efforts to control women. And, of course I love you! Many of my best friends are AFECCPR's! I know you very well! You are wonderful friends to each other and those you know and love! (Pronounced afe sippers)

It is your attitude toward WOMEN and EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOUR CLUB that bothers me.

Did I mention your attitudes toward WOMEN? Even though a little over half of you are WOMEN? Your daughters are women, or will be when they are 21 years old. Your mothers are women. Really, all of your females are women. What are you thinking?

Oh, and I know that there is a difference between YOU - the ordinary small town church going sincerely believing does not have a trust fund and has never met one of the 1% nor has never sat on the board of directors of a multi-national corporation and never been hunting with Dick Cheney and the KOCH BROTHERS REPUBLICANS WITH TRUST FUNDS WHO WENT TO ELITE SCHOOLS RULE THE WORLD AND ARE ONLY PRETENDING TO BELIEVE - the KBRWT...'s

Oh, let's simplify this. Let's call the average person who makes less that a fortune and who is a true believer... hmmm... a True Believer! And, let's call people who are richer than God, went to fancy private schools, who have real power and real $$$$, and who secretly believe in science and evolution and climate change and... hmm... the Rich Manipulators!?! OK?

So, we know why the Rich Manipulators declare War on Women - don't we? Are you with me? Well, everything they do in life is about power and money - the only 2 things that count.

Rich Manipulator Republicans declare War on Women because you, my darling True Believers, are a prejudiced lot (and a really angry group, when you think about it!) and Rich Manipulators just love to stir you up! So, they appeal to your prejudices. You are being used.

And, you are their little worker bees! You, the True Believers are the backbone of the Republican Party and you keep the Rich Manipulators in power. You vote. And, vote. And, vote. You proselytize through your churches. You send out email after email and make call after call after call. You have your own TV network. Televangelists. Radio stations. Newspapers. All the while preaching about the mad power of "liberals." I have to admire your messaging. You are masters. The Tea Party is more than a little scary to Rich Manipulators - it is taking on a life of it's own. But, I have faith in money!

But, my dear True Believers who are masters of messaging, why are you so prejudiced against women? Who do you think women are - wild-eyed revolutionaries? What is the source of our power? You make me feel so dangerous! And, both powerful and powerless at the same time.

Oh, right! WE are your mothers and it's PAYBACK!

Ouchie! I can just hear a True Believer mom saying, "Sorry about those spankings! And, the soap in the mouth. And, the lectures. And, the "times out" in the room. And, being grounded. And, the public humiliation. Sorry Daddy got caught with porn. Sorry Daddy had to go to rehab. Sorry Daddy used to beat Mommy. Sorry about the D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Sorry I told you masturbation would cause hair to grow out your nose - I really believed it. I was humiliated when the school nurse called."

So, you hate your mothers - and, your fathers. But, why do you want to grow up to be just like him? Oooohhhh! I get it!

Oh, dear, then we have that little problem with Eve. The power of sex! It's really only that powerful when it's forbidden. Suppressed. Repressed. Secret. Nasty. That is why we have sooooo dang many Newt Gringriches in the right wing world. That and "cheap grace." Wait.  I am getting off topic. What a dangerous gal Eve was. Hmmm... That Adam was quite the... follower... wasn't he? No backbone, eh? That's been eating away at you.

Then there was Jezebel. Wow. Delilah... Double wow. I don't know what book you're reading but I'm seeing another guy with no backbone, here.

Have you really read the Bible? We know what the research says, don't we? It says most of you Theocrats have not read the Bible. You should. You really, really should! It is X-rated!

There are some very practical reasons to declare War on Women. Really, if you subjugate half the population, that eliminates quite a bit of competition. Makes life a bit easier. And, who wouldn't want to rule the roost? Especially those who lack confidence - the banty roosters of the coop.

But, I know you intimately - yes, I do! I know you to be wildly irrational.

Otherwise, I would say, "reconcile your values!" Either you believe in freedom, the constitution, and small government - for EVERYONE! OR, you don't believe in it at all. But... sadly... you are busy today...  protecting the lives of sperm, unfertilized eggs, fertilized eggs that haven't divided yet, fertilized eggs that look like frog eggs about to turn into tad poles...

Today, just for spite, I killed some sperm. Yep, millions of women did. They did the laundry.

No, you do not want women to be the "boss of their own bodies" do you? Now, that is a frightening prospect. Women in control of themselves. Who knows what they might do? Eat what they want? Quit cleaning the house? Go vegetarian? Drink dirty martinis? LNO? The sky's the limit? Birth control? An abortion you don't know about?

It isn't frightening to me because I was born with a sad defect - minding my own business. It's genetic. I was born with a sad lack of interest in other people's affairs. Except for wanting everyone to have health care. And, food. Food is good. Housing, likewise... A few of those concerns.

Oh, Theocrats, I'm still talking to you, did you protect a diabetic today? Did you help an elderly Democrat to cross the street? Did you protect someone with Altzheimer's? Did you donate to some charities.

Or, is it just fetuses you love? We know you do not value the lives of fully sentient death row inmates. And, you just love the flag but don't seem to value the actual lives of our service men and women - as in, "I do not want to send any one to an unnecessary war." Just fetuses? Is it especially other people's fetuses? Because a lot of Theocrats seem to have had abortions. Just wonderin'.

If a room were filled with some frog eggy looking items in a petrie dish and someone you love with Parkinson's Disease, and it were on fire, I hope you would follow through on your beliefs and would save the petrie dishes of fertilized eggs and let Uncle Harry with Parkinson's die. You cannot have any fetuses dying.

And, of course you do lack imagination: What if? What if your daugther had just found out she had cancer and was pg? Not abortion for her. Or, your wife were accidentally pregnant and in a severe diabetic crisis. Too bad. Or, your sister had taken a dangerous medication while unknowingly pregnant. Tough luck.

You, being a True Believer and rigid thinker, are unaware of the 1,000's of medical conditions that women need gynecological care for - sometimes from birth - until they die. You are unaware of the many conditions that women take birth control pills for besides birth control. Mitt Romney seems unaware that gynecological care is so expensive that just choosing your own is not an option.

And, you don't care a lot about tit for tat, do you. As in, "If my reproductive organs get no medical treatment, neither do yours." So, no testicular cancer screening, no Viagra, no penile implants, etc. for men? Not worried?

Oh, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but did you know that birth control is less expensive to society than rearing a child? Not to mention less expensive to a family!

[Did you know that if we do not provide free health care to someone with a serious deteriorating illness, that eventually that person will deteriorate, become permanently and totally disabled and qualify for Medical Assistance anyway? In some cases, that person could have been working and paying taxes all that time. Just sayin'.]


The basic and underlying problem is the cost of health care and the fact that women require gynecological care their entire adult lives. And, this care is none of anyone else's business except that woman's and her doctor. Perhaps that is the frightening fact.

Now, why don't  you True Believers and Rich Manipulators want women to get health care? Well, Rich Manipulators WHO OWN EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (insurance companies, hospital corporations, clinics, and...) don't want to pay for it? C'est possible. Then, they persuade True Believers that RELIGIOUS FREEDOM is being violated. and True Believers go bonkers - as, I am sorry to say, you do very frequently.

Rich Manipulators manage to persuade True Believers that doctors, pharmacists, nurses, P.A.'s (who should be required as part of their professional ethics to provide medical care to every patient they see according to THAT patient's religion and NOT their own religion) that it is they who are being discriminated against and not in fact the patient - so  that they will vote Republican.


Rich Manipulators persuade True Believers that the most important issue in Western Civilization is abortion rights so that they go bonkers will forget about the massive cost of Iraq and Afghanistan in lives and money so that they will vote Republican.


Oh, I love True Believers so much! I don't think I personally know any Rich Manipulators. I don't think I personally know any of the 1%. I would love to - I really, really would.

With much love.

Your friend,

Vivian